Lonely Hearts
by phayte1978
Summary: They had all been retired and moved on with theirs lives. Yuri and Otabek moved back to Russia with their twin daughters as Otabek's career took off. Yuri was lonely, very lonely. Victor and Yuuri had grown apart over time, Victor was gone with work, leaving Yuuri to raise their daughter. Mid-life crisis. Or... The Yuris are lonely and find one another. (Infidelity fic)
1. Chapter 1

They had moved back to Saint Petersburg with their daughter Anfisa ten years ago when she was five. Victor and Yuuri had both retired and Yuuri stayed home to raise his daughter, but once back in Saint Petersburg, he helped with the juniors group while Anfisa was in school. Victor had been working on his own line of clothing and was always away to promote his line. Yuuri's sister had offered to carry Anfisa for him, she was the spitting image of Yuuri, but had Victor's eyes. There was nothing either would ever deny her. She went to the best private schools and did ballet after school. She had never wanted to skate- to the quiet disappoint of her fathers, but they would never push it.

They stayed in contact with their skating friends. Usually visiting when Victor had a break or Anfisa was on holiday from school. It was nice, they were able to travel the world and keep in touch.

This weekend, they were helping Yuri, Otabek and their twins move back to Saint Petersburg. They had lived in Almaty since the twins were born thirteen years ago and with Otabek's music career setting off, Yuri wanted to move back home. They had stayed in Almaty as Otabek had a large family and they helped with the twins while they finished up their careers. The twins were only a year old when Yuri and Otabek both walked proudly with their countries during the Beijing Olympics, each had a twin on their hip as they waved. Otabek's sisters had come with so when they were skating they girls were looked after, they both retired after bringing in Silver and Bronze.

Yuri had stayed home with the girls when they were toddlers then went back into dancing and started learning yoga better. He had landed a part time job in Saint Petersburg being a yoga instructor.

Yuuri and Victor showed up with Anfisa and she ran to Nina and Nika giving them both hugs. They girls were happy to be close enough they could walk back and forth to each other's houses. They had all stayed in touch and the girls always got along well. Anfisa ran to help them help unpack their room and they all wanted to go through clothes.

Yuri was in the kitchen searching through boxes as he looked for the wine glasses. Otabek was off in the room he was calling his studio.

"Seriously, I know they are in one of these fucking boxes," Yuri growled as he kept looking.

"Here let me help," Yuuri said as they started to go through boxes. Victor found the bottle opener and called for Otabek to come out and toast with them. It took all four men going through every box till one of the girls started yelling down at them, giggling they had a box of glasses in their room.

Shaking his head, Otabek went up to the girls' room and got the box. They heard more giggling as Otabek worked his way down the steps. He was shaking his head and mumbling something about teenaged girls as he came back to the kitchen.

"Damn movers," Yuri said.

"At least we found the glasses," Otabek said as he kissed Yuri's temple.

"You got a really nice place here, Otabek," Victor said as he peaked out the back door looking out to their modest sized back yard.

They had found a three bedroom modest size house. The twins wanted to continue sharing a room. Otabek and Yuri had encouraged them do thing apart, but it only seemed to drive the girls closer. They did not want to fight about them having their own rooms, there would be bigger fights coming as they got further into their teen years. Yuri was already throwing out skirts that were too short and shirts that were too tight. Otabek would laugh and remind Yuri what he wore as a teenager.

"Yeah let me show you the place," Otabek said as he clapped Victor on the back.

As they headed out, Yuuri started to help Yuri unpack boxes. They worked quietly for a bit as they got the kitchen unboxed. Yuuri noticed they both had about finished the bottle of wine and had to laugh.

"Damn, good thing we brought a couple bottles of wine with us," Yuuri laughed as they opened another bottle.

"Da, very thankful. We have not even been to the store, and after hearing the girls giggling all day and night- I always need a glass or three in the evening," Yuri said.

Yuuri laughed, "I don't know how you do it, I just have one and find myself going through a bottle a night."

"No shit, I have two hyperactive girls and you have one quiet one," Yuri laughed.

"Yeah, I don't know how you do it," Yuuri laughed.

"I drink… a lot," Yuri said.

"Same," Yuuri said.

They clinked glasses and went out to the living while falling on the couch. Music from Otabek's studio could be heard and teenaged girls giggling from upstairs.

"The last fucking thing I want to do is unpack these boxes," Yuri groaned.

"Moving is terrible. We had that small apartment for so long here after moving back from Japan. Just from there to the house, what a pain," Yuuri said.

"Well it is not like Beka is going to fucking help. He will be lost unpacking his studio," Yuri grumbled as he about finished another glass, "at least the girls are old enough to unpack their own shit."

They heard the music start to vibrate around them and Yuri groaned, "Fucking shit. Hang on."

Yuuri sat there as Yuri went down the hallway and threw open the door to the studio. All a sudden the music and just stopped and you heard Otabek and Victor both yell, "Hey" at the sudden silence.

"This is why you have headphones, asshole!" Yuri yelled and slammed the door.

As the came in, Yuuri went to pour another glass of wine and Yuri stuck his glass out, "Fucking bastard. He knows I can't stand that club music shit that loud and the damn neighbors are going to complain and we haven't even been here a damn day."

Yuuri did not know what to say. He just nodded as they went back to the living room and started to unpack movies and the bookshelves. He could tell Yuri was on edge, but he figured it was the from the stress of moving. He had gone quiet again and Yuuri just figured if he wanted to talk, he would start the conversation. Yuri always had to do things on his time. They had worked for a good thirty or so minutes when Anfisa came running down with Nina and Nika.

"Papa!" one of the twins yelled, "Can Anfisa stay over tonight? She doesn't school tomorrow and she is helping us unpack everything."

Yuri looked over to Yuuri and Yuuri shrugged his shoulders, "Well Nina, see what daddy has to say, but I am ok with it."

The girls all giggled and took off down the hallway.

"You don't have to Yurio. They live close enough now, you can just send her home later if you want," Yuuri said.

"Oh hell no! Anfisa will keep those two occupied and maybe I can get a little peace and quiet," Yuri laughed out.

Yuuri had to laugh at that. He had not thought about that. Anfisa never got in his way, but of course there was just one of her. She was quiet like Yuuri was but not anxious like he was. She could come to life when she was comfortable around people. The twins were both spitfires like Yuri was. Victor always teased him it was payback for him as a teenager. They kept him on his toes and it was good thing, even at thirty six that Yuri was still as energetic as he was in his twenties.

"When do you start at the yoga studio?" Yuuri had asked him as they settled back into the couch, ignoring the rest of the boxes.

"In about a week or so. You remember that ex of Georgi's he cried over for years?" Yuri asked.

"Anya?"

"Da, so get this shit- her sister owns the studio and once she heard I was into yoga and moving back here, she was all on me to teach a few classes," Yuri laughed out.

"Wow, talk about a small world!"

"No shit. Nice being back. Don't get me wrong, I loved Almaty- But with Beka always gone these days and the girls getting older- I didn't have many friends outside his family."

"Yeah, it is nice being so close to so many we know. I miss my family, but with Mari finally settling down and moving out to California and my parents selling the inn and retiring- just seem to make sense to come back. Yakov took me in immediately to work with the junior groups. He keeps pressuring me to coach, but with Anfisa… only have a few more years with her," Yuuri had sat back and got to thinking. It all seemed to have gone too fast. It seemed just yesterday he was rubbing Mari's belly and talking to his daughter though her swollen stomach.

It was like a dream that Christmas. They had gone out to Japan for Christmas and Mari had handed them a card. When Yuuri opened it, it had said she would surrogate for them. Yuuri was so speechless that he shook and cried. Victor had gotten worried and snatched the card, once he read it he was screaming and hugging Mari.

He can remember and recall the day Anfisa was born. Mari screaming through it the entire time, Yuri and Victor holding her hand- only to be blessed with a tiny little girl. Victor and Yuuri cried so hard that day.

Yuuri still remembers her first step, first word, first everything. Victor had pictures of them littered all through their house. When Yuuri looked at the young lady before him, he had to wonder where the years went. There were small creases now at the corners of his eyes, the sides of his hair were peppered with a bit of gray. He had always been active, but his body had grown a bit softer. His stomach he made sure to keep flat. He drank enough wine at night that he made sure he got time on the ice and jogged in the mornings. He might be forty-four, but he was still able to stay active.

He would look at his husband, seeing him in his late forties and wondered when the man would age. Victor's hair had just a lighter gray color, but his face was still smooth, his body was cut, but not as chiselled as it was in his twenties. Victor wore glasses when he was home and reading- the little bit of time he spent home.

Yuuri hated how he was always away. His main office was in Saint Petersburg, but him and Chris had branded their line after they retired and Yuuri found Victor out in France where Chris had relocated too. Yuuri was happy his husband's business had taken off. It allowed them to live well and vacation around the world quite a bit. The downfall, Victor was gone, a lot.

In the beginning, Victor and Yuuri texted nonstop. When Anfisa was a little girl, it was video chats and Victor would race home. As Anfisa got older and was off in her life, he might go a day or two without even a single text. At first Yuuri made a point to text and send pictures to Victor during the day and he would hear back from Victor that evening.

One day, Yuuri had noticed neither had texted for two days and it bothered Yuuri that it did not bother him. Now, Victor would leave for days or a week and Yuuri just continued when his life and Anfisa's life like nothing was wrong.

Yuuri knew it should bother him, but it didn't. He didn't know what to do when Victor was home. It was almost like he was in their way. Yuuri was used to cooking for two, picking Anfisa up from school, taking her to ballet- when Victor was around, it just got in the way.

It had been four months since they had made love and that was only because it was their anniversary. Georgi and his wife had swung by and took Anfisa off for the night so they could have the house to themselves. They had drank too much wine and Victor was snoring right after he orgasmed.-Yuuri had not even gotten off. He had gone to the bathroom and jerked himself off in the shower, like he did a couple times a week. Victor had not even properly kissed him.

Yuuri wished he could remember the last time their sex had more than that, just sex. When was the last time Victor had fucked him? Made love to him? Yuuri could not remember. He could not even remember when he last got a passionate kiss. Sure, Victor kissed his cheek and forehead all the time. He spit out the words " _I love you_ " without thinking- Yuuri repeated them back out of habit.

Yuuri wished he could remember when everything had changed over, in the beginning it was nothing but love. Their little flat in Japan they had fucked all over it, when they got the flat in Saint Petersburg, their neighbors complained about the knocking on the wall from their headboard. Victor had to pad the wall. Anfisa was a good baby and always slept in her room, so there was no child in the bed keeping them from one another. Many mornings, Yuuri remembers waking up to Victor sucking him off to start his day right. Yuuri couldn't remember the last time he had a blow job, or had given one. He figured over time these things die anyway. Victor slept on his side of the bed, in his bedclothes, as did Yuuri.

"Do we want to open another bottle of wine?" Yuri asked.

"How about we order some food first," Yuuri offered.

"Da, probably should feed these kids. Let me go see what Otabek and Victor want," Yuri said as he got up and stumbled down the hallway.

They had stayed till it had gotten dark. They had all drank too much and the girls were in the middle of binge watching movies in the twins room. Victor and Yuuri called out for Anfisa to give them hugs before they left.

They walked home, it wasn't far and the night was cool but not cold yet. Otabek said they should all go out to eat before he has to set out on tour in a week. Victor told them he leaves in two days, so Yuri brought up the next night they all go into town and have a nice dinner. The good things with teenagers, you could order them take out and they were happy to stay behind.

As they walked the short walk home, Yuuri noticed Victor was quiet and did not reach out to take his hand. There was a time when Yuuri's hand was never empty. Now it was a distant memory of what it was like to hold his husband's hand. Halfway to their house, Yuuri sighed and took Victor's hand, interlacing his fingers with his husbands as they walked. Victor chuckled and squeezed his hand a brief moment. It made Yuuri smile.

As they got to their house, Victor let go of his hand as he unlocked the door- Yuuri noticed Victor never reached out for his hand again. Yuuri's head was swimming from wine and he missed being touched, he missed touching his husband.

As per normal routine, Victor went to go shower. Yuuri sat on the bed, his head still wine riddled and decided he was going to change this. Taking his clothes off, he went to the bathroom. As he opened the curtain, Victor was washing his hair and Yuuri took a moment to take in his husband's body. Still beautiful and strong. Yuuri loved how Victor looked, he always felt blessed his husband was so kind and beautiful. At the sound of the curtain, Victor opened his eyes and smiled at Yuuri. Holding his hand out, Yuuri found his hand wasn't empty for a moment.

Turning Victor, Yuuri pressed him to the tile of the shower and ran his fingers through those wet silver strands of hair. He stared at Victor, really looked at him, those aqua eyes that matched Anfia's were still bright and full of life, sure his forehead was a little larger, but his bangs always covered it. His face was smooth but matured. He had stubble on his chin and cheeks. Yuuri liked when he went a few days not shaving. Yuuri had tried to grow facial hair, all he could grow was a little bit on his chin- Victor hated it and Yuuri never tried again.

"How are you still so perfect?" Yuuri asked Victor.

"How are you even more beautiful?" Victor asked as he leaned in and kissed Yuuri.

Yuuri moaned the minute he tasted Victor's tongue in his mouth. It had been so long. There was a burning in Yuuri that had been building and he need Victor at that moment. Yuuri pressed his body to Victor, feeling that naked skin against his, Victor's hand grabbing at his ass and that warm water on his back. Yuuri felt as Victor gently pushed him more under the water.

"Let me wash you," Victor whispered in his ear as he kissed his neck.

Yuuri loved when Victor washed his hair. He was massage his scalp then work the cloth over every inch of his body. It had been too long since they had given each other any attention and Yuuri was taking in every touch, every kiss, every caress.

They had barely dried off when Yuuri found himself on his back on the bed, lubed fingers working him open and Victor's mouth still on his. Yuuri was not sure if it was the wine or the length of time it had been since they had been intimate, but he felt a tear slip out his eye the moment Victor had pushed his way inside of him. Victor kissed him through his orgasm and Yuuri held onto Victor as he continued to rock in and out of him.

Yuuri called Victor's name out like a chant, Victor moaned and left marks all over Yuuri's neck like they did in the beginning of their marriage. Yuuri held Victor tightly as the fell asleep and woke up to his husband's mouth around his cock. Maybe he had nothing to worry about after all.

* * *

Yuri had thrown a fit and threw out an ultimatum. They were going back to Russia, with or without Otabek. In the end, Otabek found Yuri a house he would be happy with and got Yuri movers so it was less he had to do- and it left Otabek with less bitching about it all.

Yuri had been miserable for years. He loved his twins and would do anything for them, but Otabek was never home. He was happy his music career had taken off- it kept him in designer clothes, shoes and expensive dinners. Otabek threw money at Yuri whenever he was mad and Yuri went on shopping sprees on Otabek's credit card when he felt lonely.

Yuri had more things than anything could ever need. The twins had just as much. He spoiled them rotten and gave into their every whim. Otabek complained the girls had too much and he needed to stop buying them everything they ever wanted, Yuri told him to stay home more and he could raise them the way he wanted.

Otabek was always on tour and Yuri stayed behind with the girls. He always felt lucky to have them. They had been trying to adopt and figured it would take a few years, not even a year into their marriage, they had received a called that twins were available for them. They were leaving in six months for the Olympics, but they raced immediately to get their girls. It was never a question in the mind to move to Almaty and have Otabek's family help as they finished out their skating careers with the Olympics that year. They got a house next door to Otabek's parents and his sisters were on the same block.

Yuri always appreciated all the help they got. The girls never slept all night and were up every hour for feedings. Nika was colic and cried nonstop. Many days found Yuri holding her crying. He thought his babies hated him. Otabek's sisters came in and sent Yuri to Otabek's parents to get sleep and stayed with the babies. Yuri slept for twelve hours and felt better when he woke up. As the babies grew into toddlers, it got easier. They slept better and the girls giggled nonstop.

Otabek would get nightly gigs he would be out all night at. Yuri would play with the girls and put them to bed. Most nights found him drinking wine as he fell asleep on the couch waiting for Otabek to kiss him awake. Yuri had to learn to keep quiet in their love making as the twins did wake easily. Some nights when he got lost in Otabek's love making, they would be interrupted with little knocks on the door worried over their Papa. Most nights found one or both the twins in their bed and their love making was stolen moments when Otabek's family took the girls.

Yuri was not use being denied anything, but he never could be upset over it. The girls were his life and they were blessed to have gotten them. They weren't far apart in age from the Nikiforov-Katsuki girls and it worked great for them all. As the girls all got older, they would vacation together and get the girls together as often as possible.

Otabek had hit it big three years ago. He was gone months at a time out on tour. Yuri hated it. He begged Otabek to stop and stay home. They had more money than they could ever spend- but Otabek would hear nothing of it.

Yuri lost himself in ballet and yoga while the girls were in school. His body was still in great shape. His girls were athletic but neither wanted to ice skate. Yuri missed the ice, but he was glad he retired when he did, while his body was still at it peaks and he had not injured himself. Otabek had issues with his ankle from skating and found himself wrapping Otabek's ankle or icing it a lot of the times.

Nina and Nika had gotten into soccer. Yuri always joked he was a soccer mom as he was at every game they had and a lot of their practices. They humored him and did ballet. They did not do it as much as he did, but he said it kept their bodies their limber and helped from injuries.

He had grown his hair down his back and the twins would spend hours in the evenings braiding his hair and he would braid theirs. They had ink black straight hair and olive skin. Their eyes were green, but not emerald green as Yuri's were. People had a hard time telling them apart, but Yuri never did. To him they were night and day. Even when they spoke, he knew which one it was.

Yuri was lonely. He hated how Otabek was gone and he was away from everyone. Sure he had Otabek's family, but he would find himself texting or skyping Yuuri to rant and bitch. Milla would take time in the off season when the girls were little to visit, but once she married and started having babies, Yuri depended on texting and video chats to talk to her.

Being back in Russia would make things better for him. Milla was across town and Otabek got him a house near Yuuri, Victor and their daughter. Yuri knew Otabek only did it to stop him from bitching, but he still accepted it. Yuri also did not need the part time job at the yoga studio, but it made him feel like he was needed. With the twins getting older, they did school and stayed after for soccer practice, so he had a lot of hours to burn. He even debated checking out the ice rink and seeing if they needed another hand.

He had friends nearby and things to do. Even as Yuuri and Victor left, he could hear the girls giggling in their room and was glad they got along so well with Anfisa. They had a year and half difference in them, but they all got along great. They would go to the same private school and the twins were excited to have an older friend there since they were being taken away from their childhood friends in Almaty.

As the girls continued to giggle, Yuri opened the last bottle of wine, he knew he had to go to the store the next day, so he might as well just get hammered. He had his tablet in his hand watching a movie as Otabek had come into the living room and laid on the couch, pulling Yuri to his side.

"Think the studio is finally all set up," Otabek said as he pulled the long braid out of Yuri's hair and combed through the long strands.

Yuri sighed and turned off the movie. He knew he was drunk and he also knew the girls were occupied. Moving and turning, Yuri worked his way onto Otabek's lap, straddling him. No matter how much this man could infuriate him, their sex was always amazing. Yuri ran his fingers through Otabek's hair and stared down at his husband. He was going gray around his temples and Yuri would dye his hair. Otabek had laugh lines and around his eyes crinkle when he smiles. Yuri thought he got sexier the older he got. Otabek's shoulders and chest had broadened with age, but he stayed in top shape. He joked with Yuri, saying it was carrying the girls around all the time when they were younger that had made him gain muscle, but Yuri woke up most mornings when Otabek was home to him grunting over push ups.

Leaning down, Yuri kissed his husband. He was drunk and wanted nothing more than to devour him. Yuri was half hard already thinking of different ways they could fuck around their new house.

"Babe, the lube is packed away in the bedroom," Otabek said as Yuri started to bite his neck.

"Don't care, just get me off then," Yuri said into Otabek's ear as he licked behind his ear.

Otabek moaned and rocked his hips to meet Yuri's. Yuri went back to kissing Otabek as his head was drunk off red wine. Yuri felt Otabek growing hard under him and ran his down that board chest of his husband's and continues to work his mouth around Otabek's jaw and neck. It was no time and Yuri had Otabek's cock out and in his hand, Otabek had tugged Yuri's leggings down as they breathed and moaned into each other's mouth while they ran their hands up and down each others cock. They had many years to know exactly how the other liked their bodies worked. Yuri knew Otabek liked a tight grip and Otabek knew Yuri liked when he twisted his hand at his cockhead.

It did not take them long before their hands were covered in cum and Yuri was breathing heavy against Otabek's neck. Yuri moved off Otabek and pulled his legging up as Otabek slipped his tshirt off and cleaned their mess up with his shirt. Yuri curled up to Otabek's side and ran his fingers through the soft hairs on Otabek's chest and enjoyed their brief moment of quiet.

More giggling came from upstairs and Yuri got up, pulling Otabek with him. Yuri knew they had a shower off their bedroom, and he planned to find that lube packed away. When Yuri drank, he wasn't mad at Otabek. He was always happy when Otabek was home. The problem was, Otabek was never home. He had a week before Otabek was head out again, he wanted every moment he could while Otabek was there as he knew the moment Otabek left for his tour, Yuri would get lonely again and would go back to despising the man.

 **Just the opening - there will be more to come - (infidelity fic) - Come holler at me on Tumblr - Phaytesworld**


	2. Chapter 2

Victor had been gone a week now and Otabek had left for his tour. Victor said it would be two weeks and he would be back. Yuuri went back into his normal routine. He woke before Anfisa and went out for a run. The sun was starting to rise as Yuuri warmed up and stopped to stretch a bit.

"Come on asshole! We can race!" Yuuri heard as he was holding his foot and stretching his quad.

Looking up he saw Yuri coming towards him.

"I didn't know you ran," Yuuri said.

"Da, I try to at least… couple times a week. Get out before the girls wake then I can make them breakfast," Yuri said as he jogged in place.

"Alright, well I am not racing, just jogging," Yuuri said.

"Oh come on old man," Yuri said as he took off, his blonde hair in a braid down his back, "Let's run to the coffee shop and back."

"That's two miles away!" Yuuri called out. He normally just jogged a mile out and back.

"It's good for ya. You are getting soft anyway," Yuri said as they ran.

"I am not," Yuuri growled.

"Keep telling yourself that, pig," Yuri said.

Yuri groaned and continued to push himself all the way to the coffee shop. By the time they got there, Yuuri was worn out but knew they still had to run to back.

"C'mon piggy, I'll buy you a latte," Yuri said as he pushed his way in the coffee shop.

"Ok, can't be long," Yuuri said.

"I know, I have to wake the girls still," Yuri said as he got them two small lattes and walked back outside.

"Want me to drive them to school?" Yuuri asked as he sipped his latte.

"Da, if you want, that would be great. I need to go to the store again. Teenagers," Yuri said as he shook his head, "I swear those two are eating me out of house and home."

Yuuri laughed, "You were the same way."

"Yeah but there are two of them. I swear it is nothing but pink and glitter all over my damn house," Yuri said.

"What? No animal print? Sparkly jackets?" Yuuri laughed.

"Hey, fuck you! I had great taste as a teenager," Yuri said as they threw their cups in a trash can and stretched a quick moment.

"I remember those skinny ripped up jeans and crop tops," Yuuri laughed out.

"Hey! I still have my crop tops," Yuri said.

"You would," Yuuri said.

"What the fuck does that mean?" Yuri asked.

"It means you always had your own style," Yuuri said.

Yuri punched his arm and took off running again. Yuuri chased after him but Yuri kept just a step ahead of him the entire time. By the time they reached their street, Yuuri was exhausted.

"Dammit Yurio... These runs are suppose to be relaxing," Yuuri panted out.

"No one has called me that in forever," Yuri growled as they stopped at his front yard to stretch one last time.

"Really? Well maybe we need to change that?"

"I swear pig, I will murder you while you sleep!" Yuri spit out.

Yuuri couldn't help but laugh. "Ok, I am going to go wake Anfisa. I'll text before we leave and you can send the girls over."

Yuri nodded and Yuuri jogged the few houses down to his house. Turning on the coffee pot, Yuuri knew he already had a latte, but he also knew he needed a lot more coffee.

It always took Yuuri a long shower to wake up and he knew by the time he came out, drying his hair, that Anfisa's alarm will have woken her and she would be waiting with a cup of coffee in the kitchen. This was how their mornings were most the time. Just quiet as Yuuri would make them a something for breakfast.

He got all the girls off to school and headed by the rink to see what was in store for the day. Yakov was getting a lot older, though he was still an amazing and sought after coach, he needed more help these days. The juniors did their morning practice then tutoring in the afternoons.

They had some really promising juniors. Yuuri did not travel with them, he wanted to stay back with Anfisa and Yakov just appreciated all the help he could get out there. Some of his retired skaters would travel with him so Yuuri never had to worry about it.

It was the afternoons that were always the loneliest. Yuuri would run his errands on his way home and he did not have much to do till it was time to get Anfisa. Sometimes she did not go to ballet and they would go out to dinner around town or just sit at home reading or watching movies. His mornings were always filled with things to do. It was after that that Yuuri never knew what to do with himself.

He was surprised when Victor had called him. He never called in the middle of the day.

"Hey Vitya," Yuuri answered into the phone.

"Hey baby, you know how I said we are opening the store in New York?"

"Yeah, I remember."

"So they are opening in a week- I want to be there for it," Victor said.

"Ah, how long do you think you will be?" Yuuri asked.

"Two... three weeks tops," Victor said.

Yuuri sighed heavily into the phone.

"Oh baby, I miss you. Why don't in a couple weeks you and Anfisa come out for a long weekend? I'll get us a grand suite to stay in," Victor said.

"That would actually be great!" Yuuri said.

"We will make plans then, ok?"

Yuuri felt better. Victor was never gone this long, though he usually just came home on the weekends at least. It seemed lately he was gone more and longer each time. This was one of the first times he had offered them to come out and spend time with him. They had talked once Anfisa was done with her upper levels, they would move closer to where Victor needed to be. Yuuri just had to get through another two or so years and he could be with Victor more.

It was good having Yuri and the twins near by. Afternoons that Yuri did not teach yoga, they found themselves drinking wine till the girls walked home. They laughed and called themselves lonely housewives. After a couple glasses of wine it made them giggle.

The girls loved being close and were always at one or the other's house. They found themselves more at Yuri's due to him buying the twins everything they ever wanted.

Yuri had even drug him out shopping some afternoons. They would go out to the mall or specialty shops as it seemed Yuri was always filling the trunk of the car full of bags. Yuuri sometimes found things, and Yuri was trying to talk him into an entire new wardrobe.

"Seriously pig, you dress like an old man," Yuri growled.

"Isn't this something you would have more fun doing with Milla?" Yuuri whined as they went through racks of clothing.

"She keeps spitting out babies… went out with her right after Beka left. A baby and two toddlers," Yuri gave him a smirk, "Damn kids screamed and got into everything. After an hour we got lunch and she went home."

"Ah, so I get to be tortured?" Yuuri said.

"Tortured? This is not torture! You dress like an old man. I mean those pants? What the hell are they? You are the husband of one of the major fashion designers. I'd think your posh ass husband would set you up better," Yuri growled out.

"I happen to like my clothes. I use his athletic clothes," Yuuri mumbled.

"Yeah, your work out clothes are fine… not what I am complaining about. I mean come on pig! You are wearing a damn sweater vest and not even a good one. Go try these on," Yuri said as he pushed some jeans at him.

"These are way too young for me," Yuuri whined out.

"Fucking hell, just try them on."

Yuuri went to the changing room and tried the jeans on. They were not skinny jeans but they were more fitted than he was use too and distressed.

"Yurio… this is not going to work…" Yuuri whined.

"Are they too small? I grabbed your size," Yuri said behind the door.

"No… they fit… it is just… not me," Yuuri said.

"Well come out here and let me see," Yuri said.

Yuuri groaned and stepped out the changing room. He liked to wear khakis and polos or sweaters. Wearing pants that were more fitted, he had not done that in years.

"What the fuck, pig? These look amazing on you!" Yuri yelled out a little too loudly.

"Not so loud."

"Seriously, look at yourself in those," Yuri said.

"They are too young for me," Yuuri said as he looked in the mirror.

"Yuuri! Would you turn and look at your ass in this?" Yuri said.

Groaning Yuuri turned, "Yeah so?"

"Oh my god, Katsudon! Do you not see how nice these fit on you? Don't you think your husband would appreciate something more than a frumpy housewife to come home too?"

Yuuri turned and looked at himself in the mirror. He always worked out, but he had gotten comfortable. He could not remember when the last time he dressed up for his husband.

"Don't you think I am a little old for these?" Yuuri asked.

"You don't look _that_ old," Yuri said as he walked behind him.

Yuri placed his hands on Yuuri's hips from behind him and set his chin on his shoulder as he was taller than him, "Get the jeans. Get a couple pairs, we can do different colors and stop hiding that ass." With a slap on Yuuri's ass, Yuri went back out to the racks of clothing.

Changing back to his pants, Yuuri held onto the jeans and bought two more pairs. Yuri had talked him into a couple shirts to wear.

"You can wear these when you go to New York. Maybe give that old husband of yours a heart attack or some shit," Yuri said.

Yuri happen to fill their car that day with more things. Yuuri was always amazed at how fast he would spend money. He said Otabek made a lot of money and he enjoyed buying things. Yuuri also knew half of the things Yuri bought never went used.

They still had time to kill and as Yuri was speeding through the streets, Yuuri kept reminding him the speed limit.

"Dammit Yurio!" Yuuri screamed out when Yuri went speeding into a parking lot.

"Oh calm down, pig," Yuri spit out as Yuuri was grabbing at the dashboard for support.

"Where are we?" Yuuri asked as he looked at the building, "Oh my god, Yurio… not the sex store!"

Yuuri felt his face blush. When ever him and Victor got toys they ordered them online. Sometimes Victor would surprise him with packages and he always laughed when he opened them. Victor always wanted to go to the stores, but Yuuri would blush and refuse to go with him.

"Oh stop being a prude! My vibrator is not doing the job anymore- With Beka gone so fucking much, I don't want to wait for one to be sent to me," Yuri said as he got out the car.

"Can I just wait in the car?" Yuuri begged.

"I will pull you out the fucking car, I swear," Yuri said.

Yuuri knew he was serious and sighed deeply. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Shaking his head he got out the car and followed Yuri in.

He was not sure what he was expecting, but there were walls full of dildos, vibrators, plugs, massagers. Yuuri just followed Yuri around the store and kept his head down.

"Fuck, Katsudon! Could you possibly blush anymore?" Yuri laughed at him.

"Shut up!" Yuuri growled under his breath.

"Oh come on, why don't you find one similar in size to Victor and this way… makes it easier when they aren't home," Yuri said.

"I don't really…" Yuuri felt his face warm up again.

"Wait!" Yuri yelled all too loudly, "What do you when Victor isn't around?"

"Oh my god, Yurio…" Yuuri whined, "Can you keep your voice down?"

"No seriously? What do you do? Jerk off in the shower or something?"

Yuuri turned his head away, he did not want to admit that that was _exactly_ what he did. With Victor gone or at home.

"Fuck," Yuri breathed out, "Ok, I am buying you some gifts."

"What?"

"Ok… Let's see here," Yuri said as he grabbed Yuuri's wrist and started to pull him to a display of realistic looking dildos, "Which one is most like the old man's?"

"Yurio!" Yuuri whined. He was mortified. He did not even want to look at them.

"Seriously pig, or I am getting you the one that most resembles my Beka," Yuri teased at him.

"Oh my god… you are _not_ doing this to me."

"Then you better look and find the one you want," Yuri continued to tease him.

Groaning, Yuuri looked up from the floor and looked as quick as he could at the lifelike dildos. He was surprised when one was very similar to Victor's and pointed at it. He knew his face was red and he wished he could just melt into the floor.

"No shit? That is very similar to my Beka!" Yuri said- once again all too loudly.

Yuuri groaned as Yuri grabbed two of them and put them in a hand basket he had grabbed when he walked into the store. Yuri then grabbed his wrist and pulled him to a wall of colorful vibrators. Yuuri shook his head and realized he was not getting out of this anytime soon.

"I need one that isn't going to die after a couple months use," Yuri was saying more to himself than to Yuuri, "Here- hold the basket."

Yuuri took the basket as the two dildos just laid in there. He could not believe he was just standing in a sex store holding a basket as Yuri debated which vibrator would be best.

"Ok pig, what is your favorite color?"

"What? Um… blue," Yuuri mumbled.

More items fell into the hand basket and Yuuri watched as a blue and an orange vibrator were added.

"What about prostate massagers?" Yuri asked him.

"We have one," Yuuri mumbled.

"Oh do you now?" Yuri said with a smirk to him, "Let's grab lube. I am running low."

Yuri managed to drag Yuuri all around the store. Yuuri was starting to believe he was doing it on purpose. When he got to talking to the sales lady about different lubes, Yuuri was about ready to drop the basket and leave.

"No… not that lube. It is sticky as fuck. If you haven't shaved your pubes, it is terrible!" Yuri was telling the sale lady.

Yuuri had to walk away as Yuri and the sales woman talked over different lubes. It was just becoming too much for him. He found himself in the different apparel and saw the different lace panties that were made for men. Victor would order him some online. He liked the feel of them and they made them cut to fit men.

Yuuri stopped paying attention to the lube talk and was looking at a few pairs of the panties on display. There was a red satin pair, some blue lace with a bow on it. It made Yuuri think how long it is had been since Victor had bought him any.

"Oh, did we find something interesting?"

Yuuri jumped as Yuri had snuck up on him and whispered in his ear. He knew his face was never going to return to normal color anytime soon.

"N-no… I was… just…" Yuuri stuttered.

"Oh these are nice!" Yuri said as he was looking at the blue lace ones, "Let's get some!"

Yuri started to go through the different panties and Yuuri grabbed the blue lace and red satin. Yuri smirked at him as he found some leopard print and ones with polka dots.

The sales lady had come back over to them, "Would you and your husband like to try anything on?"

Yuri looked at Yuuri and smirked, "Actually yes. My husband here wants to try some of the outfits on."

Yuuri turned with a gasp at Yuri. What the hell was he playing at?

"Do you have any you were looking at?" the sale's lady asked him.

"Oh my god! No! No! We are not trying on outfits!" Yuuri finally said.

Yuri chuckled and wrapped his arm around Yuuri's shoulder while kissing his cheek, "Oh honey, don't be shy. You know I love you all dressed up for me."

Yuuri gasped and looked at Yuri. Yuri was smiling and holding back a laugh. Thrusting the hand basket at Yuri, Yuuri stomped out the store. Once Yuuri got to the car he took a deep breath and leaned against the side of the vehicle. He was going to kill Yuri.

It took a few minutes for Yuri to come out, two bags in hand. He was clearly laughing as he approached the car.

"Why did you leave? It was just getting fun!" Yuri said laughing.

"Yurio… What the hell was that?"

"I was just having some fun! Come on, pig. Let's head back home," Yuri said.

Yuuri fumed the entire way back as Yuri couldn't stop laughing.

* * *

The girls were in school and Yuri had nowhere to be. There were a few hours before they would be back and he figured he would settle into some TV and relax a bit. Sure him and Yuuri took turns taking them to school in the mornings, but they would walk home in the afternoons. The twins were headed to soccer try outs and wouldn't be back till later.

Settling into the couch, he was surprised by the doorbell ringing. As he opened the door, a teary eyed Yuuri stood there.

"Yuuri? What's up?" he said as he opened the door allowing him to come in .

"You have wine?" Yuuri sniffled.

"Of course," Yuri said as he went to the kitchen and pulled out the merlot he knew Yuuri favored.

As he went in and handed Yuuri a glass, they both sat on the couch and sipped for a moment.

"Victor called…" Yuuri said.

"Oh?"

"Yeah… he is too busy for us to come out," Yuuri said quietly.

Yuri knew how Yuuri felt. When Otabek first started his touring a few years back, Yuri and the twins would go on long weekends to see him. He was so busy and tired at night. After a few more attempts, it was easier to just talk on the phone.

"Damn, I knew you were looking forward to it," Yuri said.

They had spent quite a bit of time together since he had moved back to Russia. Milla was always so busy with her younger kids and Georgi had taken to coaching at the skating rink. He never would have thought of all the people he would spend his days with, would be Katsuki.

They had both giving up everything to raise their kids. They would never regret nor change it, but at times, it got lonely. The girls were older and did not rely on them as much anymore, and their husbands were always away with work.

"He has never been gone this long," Yuuri said quietly.

Sighing, Yuri set his glass on the coffee table and set Yuuri's down. Pulling Yuuri's arm, he let Yuuri and cry on his shoulder. He knew this feeling all too well. Even though him and Otabek spent more time apart than together the last few years, it never got easy. Yuuri sobbed and was shaking as Yuri rubbed his back. He wanted to tell Yuuri it got easier, he wanted to tell him it would be ok, but he knew the strain it put on him and Otabek.

Sure things were great when Otabek was home. It was always amazing. They would stayed glued to one another and take the girls all over. Otabek still made him laugh and they still held each other close at night when they slept. The problem was, he would be gone for two or three months at a time and only home for a few weeks in between.

"I know… I know," Yuri said as Yuuri continued to cry.

"How do you deal with it?" Yuuri asked as he sat up and grabbed his glass, settling back into the other side of the couch.

"Well when the twins were younger, Beka was around more and his family was right next door. We always stayed busy. As the girls get older… it gets harder," Yuri said as they went back to sipping their wine.

"I thought helping at the rink would help keep me busy, but I still find myself with nothing to do," Yuuri said.

Yuri sighed. He thought teaching yoga a couple times a week would help fill a void. The older the twins got, the longer Otabek seemed to be away. He would be back for a few weeks at a time and it was already great the first few weeks he was back. Yuri would start getting bitter the closer it would get to Otabek leaving again. They would start to argue more and Yuri would pout till Otabek left.

They had a huge fight before Otabek left this time. Otabek offered to adopt another child for Yuri and he got pissed. Otabek always bought him whatever he wanted and allowed him to spend money as fast as possible, but adopting another child was not the answer. Yuri never wanted a large family, he just wanted a family. He had hoped Otabek would be around more. He grew up with his mother always traveling and leaving him behind. He had wanted different for his girls.

He couldn't hate Otabek for working. Otabek loved what he did. Yuri was happy he had made it big and was the success he was. He just hated that he was away. He felt torn and at times not sure how to handle his emotions.

"That is why I do the yoga thing, plus helps keeps me in shape," Yuri said as he got up to refill their glasses, "Maybe you could come do some classes. Just a couple times a week, can help with the afternoon void."

"Yanno, I might take you up on that," Yuuri said.

Yuri found his days went by faster when he hung out with Yuuri. They would normally meet for lunch, do yoga and go by the grocer for dinner the next night. The girls loved how they had dinners at one or the other's house. He had gotten Yuuri to start going to his yoga classes and had even stopped by the rink a few mornings a week.

Yuri had found skating in his older age was nothing like it was when he was younger. He could still speed around the ice at neck breaking speeds, but he could only manage doubles in jumps. He watched as the younger students would leap into triples and some even into quads. It had been over ten years since he was able to land a quad.

Yakov was thrilled to see him and even more happy when he would help with some of the skaters- giving tips and adjusting programs a bit. Yuri had even debating getting into coaching himself once the girl got older. Him and Yuuri were leaning up against the rink wall drinking from water bottles, watching as everyone skated.

"You ever consider coaching?" Yuri asked.

"Yeah, but I don't know. It is a lot of time away and with Anfisa… maybe once she is older. Victor wants to move to France once she heads off to college," Yuuri replied.

"Wow, that's a big move," Yuri said.

"Yeah but then I can be with Victor more this way. Not so much time apart, yanno? Their main office it out there. Chris said something about it being the fashion capital of the world," Yuuri stated with his eyes rolling.

"Damn, we are lucky, you know that, pig? Hot husbands and plenty of money to whatever we want," Yuri said laughing.

It was when those brown eyes met his he saw a sadness behind them. "Are we though?" Yuuri asked before setting his water bottle down and skating across the ice.

Yuri was stunned for a moment. He knew Yuuri missed Victor since he was gone longer this time, but there was something different in that stare just then. He watched as Yuuri skated over to one of the juniors to help with their footwork. Yuri still got entranced watching Yuuri doing footwork. There was something magical in the way he did it. Even if this was not his routine, he still threw himself into it and he became the music. You could see the starry eyed student staring up at him as he finished and talked him into his steps again.

Shaking his head, Yuri went over to talk with Yakov a bit. He was still grumpy as ever, but Yuri seemed to only appreciate that more in his older age. He listen to Yakov talk about his feet and back always hurting and the _damn kids_ that just get worse every year at listening to him. Yuri had to chuckle as the old man rattled on and on.

When his phone rang, he saw it was Otabek and excused himself to grab the call.

"Beka, hi!" Yuri said.

"Hey babe… what's that noise?" Otabek asked.

"Ah, been coming to the rink some mornings with Yuuri to help with the skaters."

"Oh right, you mentioned that. Tell everyone I said hello."

"So what's up?" Yuri asked.

"Nothing, can't I just call to chat?" Otabek asked.

Yuri laughed, Otabek never called to just chat, "Of course you can asshole, you just haven't done that in awhile."

Yuri realized it was insanely early where Otabek was in the US as he called over. They were headed to their next destination and he couldn't sleep. Yuri sat off to the side and chatted with Otabek a bit.

"Yura, I am glad you have Yuuri there to hang out with now," Otabek said as they were wrapping up their call.

"Yeah it helps from being so lonely."

"I know babe… I know. I miss you."

Yuri ended the call on a sad note. He was always sad after talking to Otabek and him not being around. It made him upset and think about what Yuuri had said when he said they were lucky. Sure, Yuri had a nice house, anything he wanted he could buy- but just how lucky was he? He was always without Otabek and he missed that asshole so much it hurt. Though he loved and cherished those moments they got to just chat on the phone, it was never enough for him.

Leaning against the rink wall, he watched as Yuuri laughed and attempted to show one of the kids the footwork again. He spent the rest of the morning watching Yuuri more than he should have before the two set off for lunch.

Maybe the circumstances Yuri was under weren't what these two would consider lucky, but as he thought about it, he did have an amazing husband, two beautiful daughters and a credit card with no limit. That had to stand for something, didn't it?

He found the weekend Victor did return home even more lonely than he had remembered. Anfisa stayed at home with her dads and the twins got bored easily. Yuri took them to the mall and movies. He decided it was a good weekend to show them places around town he use to go to as a kid when he was not skating. It was good to have this time with the girls, but once they got back home, they would race to their rooms and hide away listening to music and playing on their phones.

Victor and Yuuri invited him and the girls out to dinner. Yuri did not know why, but it just seemed weird. It was fun, but he noticed Yuuri was not as relaxed. He would send these hopeful, longing looks at Victor as Victor entertained the table with outrageous stories and jokes. Of course the girls loved it. All three of them hung on every word Victor had said. His girls giggled and at the end of dinner begged to let Anfisa stay over with them.

"Oh I dunno girls, with Victor being home and all," Yuri said.

"No!" Yuuri said and grabbed Victor's hand, giving him a suggestive look, "It is fine. She can come back home after breakfast maybe?"

Victor smiled over to Yuuri and let go of Yuuri's hand to grab his wine glass, "Yes, I'd love to get some sleep. I have been so tired lately and missing my bed."

Yuri watched as Yuuri faced dropped and he nodded.

"Yeah that is fine, Anfisa can stay," Yuri said as he looked at Yuuri.

Yuuri would not meet his stare and it bothered him. Victor was only back for a few days before he headed out back to France. Yuri knew when Otabek was around, they could not keep their hands off one another, it looked the exactly opposite with these two.

When dinner finished, Yuri went back to his house and yelled at the girls to turn their music down. He would never understand it, but his twins had betrayed him by falling in love with JJ's music. It constantly blasted through their walls. Shaking his head, Yuri got out his yoga mat and started to do some stretches. He was feeling restless and uneasy. Normally stretching and going through poses would help.

He had started his cool down when there was a soft tapping at his kitchen door. He knew lately that was the only door Yuuri used when he came over. It wasn't late, not even close to being late. As he opened the door, Yuuri was standing there with a long face.

"What's up? Shouldn't you be with the old man?" Yuri said.

"He… went to bed," Yuuri said.

 _Oh!_ "Oh, well come on in. I was just finishing up some yoga," Yuri said.

Yuuri was tense as they settled into the living room. Yuri did not know what to really say or do. Yuuri was running his hands through his hair and was red in the face.

"What's going on?" Yuri asked.

Yuuri shook his head, "Sometimes I don't know if I would rather Victor be home or gone. I miss him at times, but when he is back… he just gets in the way."

Yuri knew there was always a quick adjustment when Otabek was back home, but a day or two and they would find an easy schedule to follow.

"Not that I want to get personal or anything… but have you two at least fucked since he was back?" Yuri asked.

Yuuri laughed, "You are so damn crude at times, Yurio… and no. I can probably count on one hand the last two years how many times we have been together."

"Oh shit," Yuri said as he sat back onto the couch. He knew couples over time drifted apart in the intimacy area of their relationship- but he never though the couple that grossed him out all through his teen years ever would.

"Yeah, I was happy he was back… and when I suggested something, he just said he was tired and wanted to sleep. I even put those damn panties on you bought!" Yuuri whined.

"Oh?"

"Yeah," Yuuri said and pulled the waistband down the jeans he was wearing and Yuuri saw the slip of red satin, "I even put these stupid jeans on and this damn shirt. Victor didn't even notice."

"Shit, I'm sorry," Yuri said.

He felt bad for Yuuri as he had talked Yuuri into those clothes- joked how Victor would love it.

"It makes me wonder if he even loves me anymore…" Yuuri whispered.

"Oh fuck, of course he does," Yuri says, "You two are just… meant to be."

"Are we though? I mean, he comes home and spends half his time on his phone or his laptop… he ignores me when I try to kiss him… tonight at dinner was the first I had heard in speak so much the entire weekend."

Yuri sat back and just didn't know what to say. They had talked about what it was like when their husbands were _not_ around and bitched about it, but had never heard much about when Victor was there. He could see the pained expression on Yuuri's face and pulled him to his side. He was not sure why he did it, but he felt as Yuuri's face buried into his chest. Yuuri was not crying, but Yuri knew he was sad.

As he felt Yuuri relax into him, he found his hand rubbing along his back. Otabek would do that for him at times when they sat on the couch. Yuri did not know why, but he felt like Yuuri needed it.

"Thanks Yurio," Yuuri whispered into his chest.

"Sure thing, pig. What are friends for?"


	3. Chapter 3

There were many things Yuuri would never understand in life. How he had managed to become a gold medal skater- many times over. How he managed to marry the love of his life, the man who was his crush as a teenager- his idol. How they had a perfect daughter who was the light of his life. How he had grown so close and leaned on Yuri for so much these days.

The latter is what confused him the most. Victor had left again and headed back to the store in the US (he said two weeks only this time) and Yuuri found they fell back into their normal routine. A normal routine for them was a run to the coffee shop, where Yuri got them small lattes, then home for shower and taking the girls to school. Yuri even rode with them as they went to the rink in the morning.

Yuuri found it did not bother him when Victor had left. He was almost relieved. They could go back to their normal days. Victor had left on a Tuesday afternoon and Yuuri found he missed his days with Yuri. It was weird. Victor would be in the next room- working, yet Yuuri would clean and do laundry as Yuri made coffee in their kitchen.

"You coming to yoga tomorrow?" Yuri asked as he sipped coffee.

Yuuri nodded as he cleaned down the counters, "Yeah, if you could get the girls to school and I can get Vitya back to the airport. We can meet at the studio for yoga."

"Da, that works. You want me to make dinner? Since you are taking Victor back… can be easier," Yuri said.

"That would be great." Yuuri did not realize how much he had relied lately on Yuri. They leaned on each other. Simple things like dinner making, getting the girls to and from their activities, filling the empty voids of their day. Yuuri knew that it should be Victor- Yuuri knew this should bother him. Here they were, making their plans for the week and his husband was down the hallway- and not in any of the plans.

"So where is the old man?" Yuri asked.

"In his office. Getting his meetings lined up or something for when he gets back to New York," Yuuri said.

Yuri just nodded as they finished their coffee and then Yuri went to get the girls for him. They were all going out to eat since it was Victor's last night in town.

Yuuri did not even try to engage with Victor that night. They put their sleep clothes on and slept on their respective sides of the bed. The only thing Yuuri missed, was having the bed to himself. Sometimes he was not sure what was worse- his husband not holding him when he was there, or missing him when he was gone. At least when Victor was gone, Yuuri could sleep in the center of the bed and hug Victor's pillow to his body.

The small space between them in the bed felt like miles. Yuuri could hear the soft breathing of his husband and remembered the times when they slept in the center of the bed, wrapped around each other. He would wake in the morning to find himself tangled around Victor's body.

They were so far apart on the bed now, Yuuri could not even feel the heat from Victor's body.

Turning on his side, Yuuri felt the tears as they hit his pillow. How had it come to this? He felt like he was in bed with a stranger lately. Yuuri knew he loved Victor- he loved him as much as he always did, that would never change, it would never go away. Yuuri wanted the embraces, the heated kisses- he wanted their spark back.

Yuuri knew Victor loved him, everything he did was for him and Anfisa, there was never a doubt in this. Victor told him he loved him, he kept them living very comfortably and when he made plans for the future, he always had Yuuri included. Victor did plan things for them, they had a couple vacations over the years that Victor had taken them too, visiting friends and family, Victor always included them.

There was a lot Victor _did_ do that made Yuuri feel loved. Always when he did come home, he had some memento to bring Yuuri, he always kissed his cheek, called him beautiful- Yuuri hated that lately it was not enough though. He wanted his husband to touch him, kiss him, call him.

It had been a couple years and Yuuri had stopped trying. He use to roll over to Victor's side of the bed and wrap his arms around his husband. They would sleep holding one another, but nothing more. Victor had even told him it was just they were just older and his libido wasn't what it use to be. Yuuri accepted it and hated he wanted more. Victor did so much for them and it made Yuuri feel selfish and needy- so he kept quiet.

Life had gone back to normal for Yuuri. Victor had been gone for a few days and the weekend was approaching. Yuri and Yuuri found themselves back at Yuri's house, wine in hand as they watched a movie will the girls were up playing on a new virtual reality game Yuri had bought them earlier that day.

"Vitya called tonight," Yuuri said as he sipped his wine.

"Yeah I talked with Beka before you got here," Yuri said.

"Yeah seems like Otabek's gig in a few weeks lands in New York where Vitya's new store is."

"I'm thinking we should head out there. How often can all us be in the same spot at once? The girls can watch their dad spin a little bit, and we can go shopping in your husband's store on his dime," Yuri said with a wink.

"Is everything shopping with you?" Yuuri asked.

"Well not _everything_ but it does help!"

"I am thinking we should head out there. I can just tell Vitya instead of flying back out here, we will come to him. Even if he is busy, I'd have you and the girls to keep busy with," Yuuri said.

"Well they will both be stupid busy, but we can take the girls to shows and different shops. It has been a long time since I've been to New York… since before the girls," Yuri said.

"Yeah, I am trying to remember when I was last there too…"

"Oh this will be fun! I'll get a room in the same hotel. You think they have a pool?" Yuri asked.

"I am pretty sure. I can ask Vitya when we talk next," Yuuri said.

They talked plans and went over ideas of where to go and what they could do with the girls. Yuuri was looking forward to it and was looking even more forward to knowing Yuri and all the girls would be there.

He was excited and couldn't wait to talk with Victor, even if he was busy, that was fine. He wanted to go somewhere anyway and this would be a great reason.

As they talked, they lost track of all the wine they had been drinking and the movie was long forgotten. Yuri had gotten his iPad out and started looking at the hotel Victor was staying in and making plans to book a room and flights. They went through different shows and functions going on that weekend that they could take the girls too. They even planned to make it an extended weekend, as the girls has top grades and missing a few days would be ok.

The more they drank, the more they laughed over plans and got excited over it. Yuri found some Broadway Show he got excited over and lept over to Yuuri's side of the couch to show him on the iPad. Them being close was not something Yuuri thought of anymore. Yuri leaning against him as he showed him the different dates and times of the show.

They got to talking more and Yuri stayed close to Yuuri's side. It was nothing for Yuuri to wrap his arm around those slim shoulders and hold him close to his side. At least that is what he told himself as Yuri sat there, his head on his shoulder as they talked.

"I'm glad we can all go," Yuri said.

Yuuri's mind filled with wine and Yuri at that moment.

"Yeah, it will be nice for all of us to go," Yuuri said.

"I'm excited to plan this with you and the girls," Yuri slurred out. They had really drank a lot. Normally they just had a glass or two, but it had been a trying week. The skaters were being brats, they were missing their husbands and it was the weekend.

"Is it weird that I am more happy about you being there than seeing Vitya?" Yuuri asked.

Yuri curled more into his side, "Ah, look at you piggy… being all sentimental."

Yuuri pushed at Yuri, "Hey! I mean come on! Think about it Yurio…" Yuuri slurred out, "Who would have imagined back before we each got married that we would be here… drinking wine and planning trips?"

"You do have a point. I mean you use to drink and strip… now you drink and watch old movies with me," Yuri laughed out.

"I could still pole dance if I wanted too," Yuuri pointed out.

"Doubtful. Your yoga is pathetic," Yuri said.

"It is not! Not everyone is all bendy like you are!"

Yuri got to laughing, "Bendy?"

"Oh you know what the hell I mean!" Yuuri laughed out.

"You mean flexible?" Yuri asked and Yuuri nodded, "You use to be flexible."

"Yeah, back when I was younger… not these days," Yuuri mumbled.

"Oh come on! I always pegged you as the one who would get fat after retiring!" Yuri laughed out.

"Really?"

"Da, I mean… who would have thought that Emil and those freaky ass twins would have been the one to blow up?" Yuri laughed out.

"Yurio! You are so mean! They did not get fat!"

"Have you seen their social media pictures lately?"

"I never kept up with them really," Yuuri said.

Yuri started to pull up pictures on his iPad, "Yeah same here, but about a year back, they went to one of Beka's shows and he sent me pictures they had taken together. I was shocked… something about some accident Emil had ten years back and his knee all fucked up…"

"Oh damn, that sucks," Yuuri said as Yuri showed him pictures, "Ok ok… so they… got older."

"Pig! They are fatter than you were when Victor first went to Japan!"

Yuuri groaned, "You are never letting me live that down are you? That was like… what? Twenty years ago?"

"Yeah well I remember it… all soft belly and fat face," Yuri said as he set the ipad down and put his hand on Yuuri's stomach, "Though you could still probably work some more planks and sit ups."

"Hey! I am perfectly fit for a man my age," Yuuri said.

"I never said you weren't!" Yuri said.

Yuuri noticed that Yuri's hand was still on his abdomen and his thumb was rubbing up and down. They were still close and pressed together. Yuuri turned and saw Yuri was very close- too close. Both of them softly gasped as Yuuri couldn't help but focus more on Yuri's lips than his eyes. Yuuri had forgotten to breath and neither moved for a moment, even the hand on his abdomen had ceased movement.

Yuri leaned in and Yuuri found his eyes closing as those soft lips brushed across his. The arm around Yuri's shoulder tighten as he drew Yuri closer to him. Both head's drunk on wine, their lips pressed firmer together and Yuuri felt the warm tongue of Yuri's trace his lower lip. A soft moan escaped Yuuri's lips as he opened and welcomed Yuri's tongue into his mouth. He found his hand tangled in those long blonde locks as Yuuri tasted into Yuri's mouth.

Yuri started to climb into his lap and then it all hit Yuuri. This was wrong. He was married. _Victor!_

Yuri was halfway straddling him when he pushed Yuri off of him. Yuri fell back on the couch and then the realization had hit him too. They both sat there, eyes wide and neither one speaking.

"I ugh… I should…" Yuuri said as he got up off the couch, "I am going home… Just ugh… send Anfisa back whenever."

Yuuri did not look behind him. He went to the side kitchen door and quickly left. He cursed himself as he walked back to his house. How had he just allowed that happen?

* * *

 _Fuck fuck fuck!_

That is all that was going through Yuri's head the moment the side door kitchen had shut. Leaning back on the couch, Yuri ran his hands through his hair. What the fuck had just happen? Sure they had spent most their days together, but that is what friends did… right? Their daughters got along and had become the best of friends, they had the same interest and both their husbands were always gone.

It just seemed logical they would hang out. Yuri did not even realize- or maybe he had but he had ignored it, just how much he relied on Yuuri. They planned their dinners together with the girls, even took them out at times, they watched movies together and did almost everything together.

He even kept the wine Yuuri liked at his place. He did not consciously do it, but when they went to the store, they always grabbed bottles and kept at each other's houses. Was easier. Victor had even joked about it when he was there that weekend. Joking about how close the two had gotten and finding it sweet.

Yuri did find his days were better with Yuuri around. He did not feel as lonely as he usually did. They stayed busy and when they weren't busy, even the silence was ok. Knowing Yuuri was there sometimes, even if he was just reading something and they weren't talking made things more tolerable.

Otabek had even told him his tone changed and that moving him closer to Yuuri was probably one of the better things they had done. Yuri found he did not nag Otabek as much or argue as often.

It had started a few weeks back though, Yuri realized he would reach for Yuuri when either of them were upset. Yuuri had always craved touch, this was something most people knew. It was how Victor would calm Yuuri back in the day when they all skated. Hugs, caresses, a light touch- it always calmed him down.

That night Yuuri was upset, it was nothing for Yuri to pull him in and hold him. He found even when they did their runs and stopped for lattes, he would rest his head on Yuuri's shoulder as they sipped their lattes. Dinner time, was small touches on the arms, hip brushes… Yuri took it as Yuuri craved touch and he was so use to Otabek never taking his hands off of him when he was around.

It came natural, almost too natural. They had always kept touch in touch and had visited each other quite a bit over the years. As they grew older and had kids, Yuri almost had to laugh- how the hell did that pig become one of his closest friends after all this?

He wanted to blame the wine, he really did. He wanted to blame Otabek and Victor for always being gone. He wanted to blame how easy it was to be around Yuuri.

They had been sitting closely for sometime, the excitement behind Yuuri's eyes was beautiful. Lately Yuri had been drawn to those eyes. Every time Yuuri laughed, his eyes would sparkle, the tiny creases from age would appear and he would genuinely smile. He treasured those moments.

He did not think when he leaned in and kissed Yuuri. There was nothing going on in his mind. Not Otabek, not his girls- all that mattered was tasting Yuuri. His lips were soft and his breath was red wine.

Yuri had pushed too far, gone too far. When their tongues met, he felt a shock through his body he had not felt in a long time. It was excitement, it was raw, it was Yuuri. He had gotten greedy, he wanted more. He found himself climbing into Yuuri's lap as their tongues mingled.

Being pushed back, realization hit Yuri. He sat back against the armrest of the was so much he wanted to say at that moment. He wanted to say he was sorry, he wanted to say he did not mean it. He wanted to blame the wine.

It all would have been half truths. He knows this. Pulling at his hair he groaned. He had just fucked up their friendship. He did not want a rift between the two of them.

Giggling from upstairs broke his concentration and looking at he coffee table- there were two glasses of wine almost empty. Shaking his head, Yuri finished off the last sips and took them to the kitchen where two almost empty bottles sat on the counter. He poured them both into his glass and barely got a glass for himself. Knocking that back, Yuri noticed it wasn't all that late, but he needed to go to bed.

He told the girls he was showering and going to bed. The twins ran and hugged him and he nodded at Anfisa. She was staying over again and the girls all went downstairs to get snacks.

As Yuri stood under the hot water of the shower, all he could think of was Yuuri's lips. They were soft and full. The way Yuuri kissed , the way his hands tangled in Yuri's hair. Yuri felt himself grow hard under the warm water and the moment his hand wrapped around his cock, the wine fog lifted and he snapped his eyes open.

 _NO!_ He thought to himself. This was wrong. Switching the water ice cold, Yuri let it run down his body, shrink his swollen cock and let his body shiver. He could not allow his mind to go down this road.

Even as he tucked into his bed, his mind stayed on Yuuri. He tried to spray Otabek's cologne on his pillowcase, but it was Yuuri who would came to his mind. Tossing and turning, Yuri tried to sleep.

He had even gotten his phone and started going through different sites to take his mind off things. No matter what he did, his mind ran back to that kiss and he worried. He liked it, he wanted more of it and it made him feel terrible.

Otabek had been his one and only for so long. They had gotten together extremely young and everything was fast moving. Yuri had never kissed or been with anyone different- not that he wanted too... till now.

He felt like a terrible person. He loved Otabek with his entire heart and soul. He loved his girls and he did love their life. He wished Otabek was around more, but Otabek's dream had come true and Yuri would never take that away from him. He knew once the girls were older, he could travel with Otabek easier and they would always be together.

So what was it about this with Yuuri that had his head spinning? Yuri continued to toss and turn. His mind not quieting down enough for him to find peace. Frustrated with himself, Yuri got up and slipped a tshirt on and leggings.

He did not know what he had planned on doing. There was no plan. It was almost two in the morning and the girls had grown quiet for some time now.

Yuri found himself outside, the grass soft and wet under his barefeet as he walked the few houses to Yuuri's. There was a light on in Yuuri's sitting room. Yuri knew he was still awake. Standing there, Yuri tried to talk himself into going back home- home where his girls were, where he waited for Otabek.

Somehow without thought, Yuri was at the back door and knocking softly. The wine in his body made him bold, but was not clouding his vision anymore. He knew it was only seconds before Yuuri came to the door, but it felt like a lifetime. So many thoughts running through his head. So many things he wanted to say to Yuuri when he answered the door.

Their eyes locked and they both stood there, neither speaking. For once, Yuri could not say a word. He looked into those soft brown eyes, Yuuri did not seem to be mad at him, he did not seem to be repulsed by him.

Yuuri reached out and took Yuri by the wrist and pulled him gently into the house. The contact of his warm palm on his wrist made Yuri's head spin.

"Yuuri, I-"

Before he could finish what he was going to say, those hands were tangled in his hair again and Yuuri was kissing him. Yuri felt his body melt against Yuuri's at that moment and he wrapped his arms around Yuuri, pulling him closer.

"Yuri… this is wrong," Yuuri mumbled against Yuri's lips.

"I know," was all Yuri could reply back, not wanting his lips to leave Yuuri's.


	4. Chapter 4

Everything about Yuri was not Victor. His kisses were firmer, his body was smaller, he was shorter than Victor- and at that moment, Yuuri did not care. It was everything that Victor wasn't that he was appreciating at that moment. They stood in the mudroom of Yuuri's house, surrounded by shoes, and jackets, while clutching to one another.

Yuri bit at his bottom lip and Yuuri found his mouth opening, welcoming Yuri in. Their tongues twirled as their mouths could not get any tighter pressed together. Yuri tasted sweet, like a soft mint. It made him dizzy, he could not remember how long it had been since he had been kissed this deeply, this passionately. Yuuri had his hands in Yuri's hair, fingers tangled in the long blonde locks. Yuri's hands were wrapped around his back, clawing at his tshirt on his back.

"Are you sure?" Yuri breathed out to him.

"Not at all," Yuuri said back.

Yuri released his grip and stepped back, staring deep into his eyes. He could feel Yuri searching him over, silently asking him, questioning him. Those green eyes darkening as Yuri continue to stare into his eyes. All he had to do was nod, a barely there nod, his head scarcely moved, but it spoke loudly. Yuri took his hand, he allowed him to guide him to his bedroom. _His and Victor's bedroom_. Yuuri did not stop him and he stopped thinking about Victor for the moment.

"I can always leave," Yuri said.

"I… I don't want you too," Yuuri muttered.

Yuri stepped close again, sharing the breath escaping his mouth as he leaned in. This kiss was different, it was softer. For all the hard edges and anger that Yuri was, this was everything but. A whisper of a kiss, a secret between them two. Yuri did not touch him and he did not touch back, their bodies were close as Yuri leaned in, but nothing other their lips barely brushing each other was connected, he found his eyes closing, his lips chasing and wanting more. His body was signing and he was moments from trembling the more Yuri barely touched at his lips. As his eyes slowly closed, he heard the soft breathing of the man in front of him and only waited for another touch, another taste.

Yuuri balled his fist, he wanted to reach out, pull Yuri towards him, crush him and make him one with his being. A soft sigh escaping his mouth as Yuri teased his lips once again with his. Every ounce of resolve was gone, Yuuri felt his short nails imprinting them into the flesh of his palm as his lips were slowly teased, barely touched.

Opening his eyes, a glimpse of a smile graced that harsh face, turning it soft, inviting. Yuuri found himself smiling back, this was insane. _This was wrong_ \- he did not care. Taking that small step between them, cupping the back of Yuri's head again, he pressed his lips on Yuri's, his other hand wrapping around his thin waist, splaying his fingers on his lower back. Yuri arched his body into his as their mouths tugged and licked at each other. The kiss was not deep, their tongues barely making contact, but finding themselves gasping for air. Yuuri did not care if he passed out from lack of oxygen, his body starting to tremble as he held Yuri against him.

"Fuck," Yuri gasped out and put his hands to Yuuri chest.

The hands resting on his chest shook as their eyes locked again. Yuri pushed him back and he was worried that Yuri was changing his mind. The seconds moved slowly as Yuri stood there, within reach, but no longer touching. They had done nothing other than kiss, but there was a ghost in the room with the two. They both felt it.

"What are you thinking?" Yuuri asked quietly.

"Everything… nothing," Yuri replied.

They kept the distance between them, just a step apart. One step. It seemed so easy, so simple. But this one step spoke so much. It spoke for two families, it spoke for two marriages, it spoke for two friends… four friends, three daughters- this one step was more than just a simple step.

Yuuri stared into those green eyes, looking for the answer. He knew they had to be there. He always relied on Victor to answer everything for him when he was here, and with him gone, Yuri did the answering. He always allowed Yuri to lead him through the day, but what those eyes spoke were different. They wanted to be led. Yuri was not leading anymore. He might have come over, but he was asking the silent question, wanting an answer, needing confirmation of everything.

That one step seemed miles apart. Breaking the eye contact, Yuuri looked down to the floor, that step between them, Yuri's perfectly manicured toes digging into the soft carpet of his bedroom- _Victor's and his bedroom_. He could stop now, turn back, never taking this step, forgetting the kiss- the kisses. Those amazing kisses. How could he forget those?

"Tell me you don't want this," Yuuri whispered out. Afraid if he spoke too loud, it would come crashing around him.

Yuri shook his head, "I can't."

"Tell me this is wrong."

"It is."

Somehow the step seemed further away. Somehow Yuri was further away. They were both rooted to the carpet. The carpet that Yuuri and Victor had painstakingly picked out, in the bedroom they had planned together.

Yuri was so quiet, Yuri was never quiet. He could tell his mind was racing, he could almost hear his thoughts. Taking a deep breath, Yuuri shook his head and took that step. That one step that ignored two husbands, two families, three children. That one step that answered the questions between them.

Yuri's eyes grew big again, and his hand took his wrist, tight. Yuuri felt those thin long fingers wrap and squeeze around his wrist. He could feel Yuri's breath on his face, the warmth of his body so close- that one point where they were touching was smashing any question or any resolve they had.

"Please?" Yuuri whispered and rested his forehead against Yuri's.

A question with so many answers. Please what? Please continue? Please stop? Please leave and never come back? Please fuck me?

Yuri nodded and pulled at his wrist, guiding him to the bed. _Their bed. Victor's bed_. The bed they slept in together. The same bed they had made love in numerous times over the years. The bed that Victor now ignored him in. Settling on the bed, they laid on their sides, almost touching, still close. Yuri was on Victor's side of the bed, his head rested briefly on Victor's pillow.

"There's no turning back," Yuri whispered as he leaned in close again, their lips a breath away.

"I'm tired of always looking back," Yuuri said as he closed that space once more, his lips connecting with Yuri, tasting him, needing him.

Yuri was kissing him breathless again, there bodies still apart, their mouths soft and unsure. Each swipe of their tongue was allowing the other another moment to stop, to leave. Small suggestions of hesitation with each small movement.

Yuuri's body shivered and everything crumbled. Moaning out, he reached for Yuri and pulled him to his body. Those sharp lines, hard muscles and a scent of sandalwood and orchids. It was now or never.

Rolling onto his back, he wrapped his arms around Yuri and pulled him on his body. Time stopped, Yuri weighted dramatically less that Victor, the pressure on him was different, his body smaller, his golden hair tickling the sides of his face as he fell forward. Though only half of Yuri's body rested on his, he was craving more, wanting more. Feeling as time slowed and crawled around him, all of it in slow motion as Yuri deepened their kiss, tangling their tongues and sharing air. Their noses bumping against one another, looking for their rhythm.

Running his hands through the sides of Yuri's hair, he held it off his face, kissing him with his eyes open. Seeing his perfect beautiful face up close, a flush spreading on his cheeks. Yuri shifted his body on his, moving his hands to each side of Yuuri as he lift and settled between Yuuri's legs. Yuuri found his hips opening, inviting Yuri's body to press against his. As Yuri settled and shifted over him, Yuuri kept that golden hair locked between his fingers, connecting their mouths and shattering his mind.

Small, almost not there, their moans could barely be heard, they were felt between their chest as every obligation they had were tossed aside. Every moment in their past forgotten as Yuri pressed his body more and more on top of Yuuri. Their lips sliding against each other, hungry for more, greedy.

Yuri lifted briefly and grabbed the elastic band off his wrist and quickly tied his hair back. Laying there, Yuuri watched as those high cheekbones reflected shadows on his face, making Yuri looked haunted, beautiful. Holding his breath, he waited for that beauty to focus back down on him. That familiar smirk as those lips came closer, biting at his lower lip, no longer lingering, teasing.

Everything Yuri did was different from Victor. The way he plunged his tongue into his mouth like he owned him, the way he bit his lip, defying him to make it stop, the way his body demanded his attention. The hesitation from earlier gone, snapped and broken- shattered around the room with their vows. There was no turning back.

Another harsh bite at his lip and Yuuri hissed out. The vibrations from Yuri's chest as he chuckled vibrated through his body, setting his cock on fire. As Yuri rocked his hips against his, he felt it, the hard length pressed next to his, the friction between them as their hips slowly moved and their lips breaking apart. Moans that reached a louder decibel echoed through the room as their cocks rubbed through the fabrics.

Working his mouth around his jawline, wet and hot against Yuuri's skin- small whimpers working against him. Sounds he had not made in so long, places on his neck that had not been kissed in too long, Yuri scratched his teeth gently across his throat, licking at his Adam's Apple, pressing his tongue on the bone gently and sweeping around it. That mouth was fire against his neck, stealing any rational thought or idea. Lingering below his ear, that mouth soft and tender. It had been so long since Victor took the time to work those sensitive spots on Yuuri's neck, so long that have yearned to be kissed, bitten.

"Don't leave any marks," Yuuri breathed out.

"I'm not fucking stupid," was all that was growled in his ear, as the mouth worked lower, pulling the collar of his shirt down, teeth sinking into his shoulder. Crying out, Yuuri ran his hands down that slim muscular back. Victor's was a lot broader though firm and solid. Yuri was slimmer and more compact.

His shirt being pulled, Yuri lifted off of him and pulled it up over his head, tossing it to the floor, then pulled his own over his head. Running his hands over Yuri's chest, he felt the muscles cord and move under his palm. Yuri stayed elevated above him as Yuuri worked his hands, feeling, touching, caressing, pinching his nipples. Yuri's stare was intense and dark as he looked down on Yuuri. Grabbing his shoulders, Yuuri pulled him back down, so their chest mashed together, the warmth of their embrace heating steadily between the two.

Yuri seized his mouth again and stole the air from his lungs. These were different hands on his body, touching him differently, giving him attention. He found himself arching into the warm body above his as his head spun. His morals and vows all battling around him.

* * *

Yuuri was everything Otabek wasn't. It was not that he did not love his husband, he did, with everything in him. It was the only man he had ever been with, ever kissed, ever touched. Even before they got married, there was never a question there was anyone else for either one of them.

Yet here is was, topless and covering Yuuri's body with his own. Kissing those full lips that he had been staring at for weeks now. Lips swollen that smiled up at him. Every bite and nibble just made Yuuri's bottom lip fuller, he couldn't help but continue to torture it between his teeth.

Gasp and small moans danced around their bodies as Yuri worked his mouth over Yuuri's shoulder, running his hands down Yuuri's sides. Yuuri was in shape, but softer over the years. Otabek was firm, solid and his shoulders and chest broadened with age. Where Otabek had hair across his chest, Yuuri's was hairless.

He tasted different, his smell opposite of Otabek. There was no leather, no aftershave, no spice that was simply Otabek- this was all Yuuri, jasmine and citrus. Small cries and whimpers that sent shocks straight to his cock. It was not the deep throaty grunts or groans. None of it was the same. Otabek always took charge, commanding Yuri, taking Yuri, making him his own. With Yuuri is was different. He did not want to push him, he did not want to make do anything he didn't want, it was gentle at first, sweet- then turned demanding.

Yuri kissed him as if he needed the air from his lungs. His kissed his skin and rubbed his body as if was giving him life. Nothing about this was what it was with Otabek. He wanted to rule Yuuri, he wanted to make Yuuri his.

Subtle growls building in his throat as he started to kiss down Yuuri's body, those hands touching him as if to memorize his body. All he wanted to do was to taste every inch of Yuuri's skin, capture it all, claim it. Moving slowly down his body, Yuri loved the slight softness to Yuuri. He was firm still, yes, but there was something about how his hands sunk into his body when he grabbed that was driving him wild.

Dark nipples he bathed with his tongue and teased with his teeth. Delicious moans washed around the room as he tortured each one, feeling them pebble and peak in his mouth. Every sound Yuuri made was soaring through his body and his cock was straining. Hanging heavy between his legs as he rocked another time into Yuuri's hip. Their cocks continuing to brush next to each other. Hating to remove his hips from where they had fit so nicely, battling with his own mind as he wanted to taste more of Yuuri, he traveled further down.

There were no lines in Yuuri's stomach, though it was flat. Flat and soft, pliable under his mouth. He could suck on the flesh as he kissed further down, licking into his navel and blowing cool air behind it. He was met with Yuuri arching his back, displaying his upper body for him to take in, commit to memory. Another lick at his navel and Yuri continued, a slight dark whisper of hair that fell into his waistband as Yuri licked down it.

"We can still stop," Yuri said as he nosed at the elastic on Yuuri's pajama bottoms.

Yuuri had propped up on his elbows and looked down at him. His eyes dark and full of lust- Yuri could feel the longing in Yuuri, it poured out of his kisses, in his touches. Depraved for so long, Yuuri craved whatever Yuri would give him.

"Please…" Yuuri breathed out. His voice low and soft.

Hooking his fingers under the elastic, Yuri pulled the pants down with his boxers as he lifted his hips. Peeling his leggings off, Yuri knelt between Yuuri's legs, looking down at his throbbing hard cock. Swollen and red, moist at the tip, Yuri massaged the soft skin of Yuuri's hips and looked back up. Those dark brown eyes fixed on him, watching him.

 _To have and to hold… till death do us part._ Yuuri moaned when he kissed his hip, that crease where his hip bone poke out a bit. Inhaling deeply, remembering the scent that was Yuuri. So badly he wanted to mark those hips, knowing in a few short days, Victor would be back, be in this bed, this very bed he was in now with Yuuri.

Yuuri's head fell back as he licked from the base to tip of his cock, bitter salt falling on his tongue. It was thick and it was not how Otabek tasted. Yuuri cock was thinner and a smaller than Otabek's but it fit Yuuri. He licked up and down, tasting all he could of Yuuri, relishing in the small moans and gasp at every swipe of his tongue.

He could drown in the little noises Yuuri made, he was not overly vocal, but soft and sweet. Everything Yuri did to him, his body was responding to, begging for more, thirsting for it all. Wrapping his mouth around the head of Yuuri's cock, he heard the long drawn out sigh from above as he gently sucked and twirled his tongue, lapping up the bitter salt from him.

"Yuri…" he heard breathed out and hands tangled in his hair he had pulled up.

 _For richer, for poorer… in sickness and in health._ Yuuri fit easier in his mouth, he did not have to practically unhinged his jaw to take him down his throat.

"Ah! Yuri! I am not going to last!" he cried out.

Yuri wanted to taste him more, bring him to pleasure in his mouth, but those hands in his hair were pulling him away, pulling him off. As he lifted his mouth with a wet pop, Yuuri had sat up and pulled his mouth back to his. Hungry and needy kisses. Desperate for more.

"Please, Yuri," he begged into his mouth.

Yuuri's body stretched to the nightstand, grabbing for something and a bottle was pushed into his hands. Forcing Yuuri back to the mattress, Yuri uncapped the bottle and covered his fingers.

"Are you sure?" he did not know why he kept asking. Maybe it was for himself. The acknowledgement of what they were doing. An affirmation to continue or stop. He loved Otabek and as his glossy fingers reached down Yuuri's body, circling his tight muscle, the ring on his hand was heavy, the force of it pushing into Yuuri's body. Closing his eyes, he nestled into Yuuri's neck, smelling the citrus and jasmine as his fingers worked him slowly open.

He loved Otabek, he knew this. There was never a doubt. They fought when they were together and fucked to make up for the fighting. Otabek threw money at him and he bought worthless items to feel better. He had been left behind as Otabek lived out his dream, deserted.

Kissing Yuuri's neck more, he worked another finger in Yuuri, the soft heat sounding his fingers. He even felt different from Otabek, there was no way to explain it, but nothing about this was Otabek. The Otabek that bought his love and fucked his emptiness away.

They could stop now, they could call this all being lonely and away from their husbands. Both left behind so their husbands could give them everything. Was that what they really wanted? As he curled his fingers and heard the strangled cries from Yuuri, _this_ was what they needed. They needed to be touched, they needed to be loved. They did not need credit cards that had no balances, they did not need houses with every updated electronic device or all the latest trends in clothes. They needed their husbands. They needed their husbands to love them physically.

"Hurry… please!" Yuuri whispered as he lightly sucked at his earlobe.

"Just a little more."

A small chuckle, "When did you become so patient?"

Yuri had no answer for that. With Otabek it was fast and it was hard. Sometimes he wanted the slightest bit of stretching so he could feel the burn, be reminded he had been touched, been loved. He did not want that with Yuuri. He wanted to take his time, open him slowly, tenderly. He was not sure if their resolve would ever break again, and he wanted to remember it. The kisses, the taste, the touches. He wanted to remember how Yuuri's back arched when he curled his fingers, how his ass clenched and milked his fingers. He did not want to forget.

Kissing him as he slid a third finger in, Yuuri was whimpering again against his lips. Yuri felt his cock leaking as it pressed against Yuuri's hip and knew Yuuri was ready, but he was being greedy, he wanted his fingers in him a moment more.

"Please…" the plea said against his lips.

Nodding his head, he kissed those swollen lips again and pressed his forehead to Yuuri. Their skin sticky with sweat. Locking into those brown eyes- eyes he had seen sparkle with happiness and cry from pain- those eyes pleading, begging for him now.

Getting the bottle, Yuri sat up and coated his cock. When Yuuri's hand grabbed him he found a moan escaping his lips.

"If you keep doing that, it will all be over," Yuri growled between his teeth. There was fire in Yuuri's touch and he was being engulfed in it.

Moving back between Yuuri's legs, he noticed how Yuuri's knees curled and his legs spread for him. On display, Yuri gasped as he looked down at the wet, stretched muscle. His mouth went dry and his tongue felt thick in his mouth. Squeezing the base of his cock, he leaned down and lined the head of his cock to Yuuri then looked back down, seeing those eyes pleading and begging.

Moving so his body covered Yuuri's once more, he pushed slowly at the tight ring, feeling it open up to him, allowing him in, feeling it clench around the tip of his cock. Yuuri was tight, Yuuri was hot, Yuuri was not Otabek. Pressing his mouth down on Yuuri, he slowly pushed himself in further, centimeter by centimeter. Their kiss turning into gasping breaths as thier mouth stayed connected. Once fully seated, Yuri held still and dove his tongue into Yuuri's mouth. Devouring him, feeling as Yuuri clenched and tightened around him. Those legs wrapping around his waist, ankles locking and holding him in place.

Fingertips with short nails grazed down his back, nothing to leave marks, nothing to sting in a shower, but enough to make him moan into the kiss. Slowly rocking his hips, Yuri broke the kiss and felt their bodies moving slowly, finding a rhythm together. Clutching to Yuuri's shoulders, he burying his head in Yuuri's neck, taking in more of the scent so every time he caught that scent again, he would be reminded of this moment.

The more he rocked his hips, the more he felt his need build and tighten around him. They were both breathing hard, sweat covering their bodies more. Yuuri's hand moved between their bodies as he started to pump his own cock in time with Yuri's rocking. As Yuuri's moans changed, he knew he was getting close. Lifting up, he snapped his hips down as Yuuri cried out. He found with each snap of his hips, slap of their skin, they were both moaning and panting, their need overcoming them.

Yuuri arched his back as he painted his stomach and chest. His face twisted, those fine lines around his eyes that made him more beautiful when he smiled, prominent in this moment. The laugh lines standing out as he called Yuri's name. The tightness in his abdomen had tightened once more, he could feel as Yuuri came, tightening around him, milking him, wanting him to cum.

"Don't… pull out," Yuuri moaned.

At the sound of Yuuri's voice, he felt his body seized up and he was steadily releasing inside Yuuri. Feeling as Yuuri continued to clench and tighten around him, pulling his release to completion. Boneless, he collapsed on Yuuri as those fingers trailed over his damp back.

His heart was slamming in his chest, his mind clearing and the fog being lifted. Wrapping his arms around Yuuri, holding his body tight to him, he had to wonder what the fuck had they just done?


	5. Chapter 5

It was early, very early when Yuuri startled away. There was blonde hair everywhere and even breathing coming from next to him. Rubbing his eyes, he looked over and saw Yuri with his face buried in Victor's pillow and his arm lazily draped over his chest. Flashes of what happen ran through his mind. Yuuri continued to stare over that mess of blonde hair on his husband's pillow. They had fallen asleep and Yuuri could feel the dried cum on his ass and between his thighs.

Turning on his side, Yuuri did not want to wake Yuri up, did not want this to end. He knew it could not continue, could not happen again. What they did was wrong, very wrong. They were both married to the loves of their lives and they had somehow jumped down a rabbit hole that should have never existed.

Closing his eyes, he could still feel the weight of Yuri's body on him, that mouth kissing and lick all over his skin. It was so different than it was with Victor. It was intense, it was passion, it was what his life had been lacking the last few years.

Pushing blonde hair off of him, Yuuri did not know what was going to happen once Yuri woke up. They had crossed that line, that line of friends and lovers. That line of trust and broken vows. Yuuri felt torn, split in two. He wanted to roll Yuri over and have his way with him, on his husband's spot in the bed. He also wanted to tell Yuri to go home and never speak of this again.

Knowing they could not keep this going, Yuuri did not want the sun to come up, when the light of day came, the realization of what they did would brighten and show all the wrong they had fallen into to. How could something that had felt so good, felt so natural be so wrong?

Lifting his hand, he saw the wrong. The golden ring around his finger, the ring of hope, love and trust. It was all a lie. Yuuri had broken those promises, he had given into lust and there was no turning back from what he had done.

Was his and Yuri's friendship over now? Had they gone _too_ far? Could they look past this? Could they forget it happen? Could he forget the taste of Yuri's lips on his? Could he forget the way Yuri fit so well _into_ him?

Sighing deeply, Yuri closed his eyes as those flashes of what happen would not go away. The way Yuri sounded as he thrusted into him, the way Yuri kissed, the way Yuri waited for him to be ready and not push anything. It had surprised him that Yuri had even come back. It surprised him even more when they had kissed in Yuri's living room.

Yuuri thought he knew himself. He thought he was the perfect husband and father. Staying home to raise their daughter and support his husband. He kept the house clean, dinners warm and available for whenever Victor wanted him. Lately all those acts had gone unnoticed and it made Yuuri feel like a failure as a husband, a father.

He had always doubted himself, that was never a secret. He was afraid of letting Victor down. He decorated the house in the way Victor would want, he cooked dinners he knew Victor would love, he molded himself to be the perfect husband. A perfect husband who fucks his best friend when Victor is out of town.

He needed to push these thoughts out of his head. He needed to forget it. If he was any kind of decent person, he would wake Yuri and tell him it was wrong, _they_ were wrong. They could not fall into this again, he could not think about how amazing that night had been.

Another sigh and a groan, he felt Yuri stir next to him. Those large eyes opening as they looked at him. Yuri looked confused for a moment, then he could see when the realization had hit him. Was he having flashes of the night before? Did he regret what they did? Yuri smirked at him and his hand brushed the hair off his forehead.

"Good morning," Yuri's voice was rough and full of sleep. They had only slept a few hours, but they knew they had to soon separate before the girls woke up. He knew Yuri was waiting for him to say something. Even in his blurry vision from not wearing his glasses, he could see this. The question behind those green eyes, the wonder.

Trying to make his smile genuine, Yuuri took Yuri's hand kissed his knuckles, "Good morning."

Yuuri did not love Yuri _that_ way. Not the way he loved Victor. He loved Yuri as his friend, the friend he had for over twenty years. They raised their kids together, vacationed together. Even when they lived countries apart, they had always emailed and kept in touch. Sometimes it seemed like they were the only ones who understood the loneliness they were going through. Sure they had other friends, but this was different.

"I… I need to get back to my house before the girls wake up and see me gone," Yuri said.

Nodding, Yuuri understood. Yuri was not fleeing away from him, they could not let it be known they had given into temptation, cheated on their husbands. When Yuri curled into him, he found his arms wrapping around those thin shoulders and holding him close. He would hold these last few moments, knowing they could not cross this line again. Once the sun fully came up, they need to forget what happen.

Yuri had started to kiss his neck as he pressed firmer into his body. They were both still naked and Yuuri could not control the moan that had escaped his mouth. Yuri's face was scratchy against his neck, just like how Victor's was in the morning. There was something about morning stubble against his skin that drove Yuuri's mind into overload. Yuri continued to kiss down his neck as he felt Yuri's cock stiffen on his hip. Reaching down, Yuuri gripped his hand around Yuri's half swollen cock and hear Yuri moan into his neck. Yuri's moaned still full of sleep as his body started to rock against his.

Guilty flooding his mind as his hand continued to work Yuri's cock. Feeling it harden in his hand, feeling its warmth against his palm as Yuri reached out and ran his fingers over his hip then cupped his balls, rolling them in his hand. More moans falling from his mouth, Yuuri continued to stroke over Yuri's cock, rubbing his thumb cover the wet tip, smearing the liquid down Yuri's shaft, pushing his shame out of his mind.

When Yuri's hand finally wrapped around his cock, he was painfully hard and welcomed the touch. Yuri firmly held him and gripped the base of his cock hard, making him cry out and moan at the same time. His hand and movements were so different from Victor, so good. The way his hands were smaller as they gripped him tighter than Victor did. The way when his cock would twitch, Yuri would squeeze it tighter, rubbing him with purpose.

"I love the sounds you make," Yuri said into his neck and lifted up to kiss him. Their mouths were sour from sleep, but neither cared. Kissing each other, knowing soon it would all be over, never to happen again. They were pushing their hips into the other's hand and he could have sworn Yuri was trying to consume him. The kisses were not gentle and sweet, full of question- no, these kisses were demanding, wanting, needing. Yuri's face scratching against his, he moaned again and stroked him harder, he wanted Yuri to come all over his body, he wanted to be painted in their sin.

Yuri thrusted in his hand again while moaning out, he could feel the wetness slowly accumulating in his palm as the more they kissed and touched, the more he was leaking. One last stroke, one last kiss and they were both moaning and spilling. He felt his release on his stomach and Yuri's release on his hip. Yuri was no longer kissing him but was holding his mouth to his, breathing as those green eyes stayed tightly shut.

Cupping Yuri's face with his clean hand, he ran his thumb over his cheekbone, feeling the stubble under his thumb and kissing his nose, "You should get back."

"I know…" Yuri said as he settled his head into Yuuri's neck, "will you come by later? We can take the girls to a movie or the mall or something."

Yuuri nodded, not know what he would do now. Could they just go back to how they were? Forget they fucked, forget they just jerked each other off while kissing and moaning into each other's mouth. Yuri groaned and lifted up to kiss him again. Welcoming those lips, he felt the warmth leave his body as Yuri got out of bed. His tall, lean naked form in full view as he looked for his clothes. There were dimples in his ass cheeks and slight nail marks down his back.

Yuuri could not take his eyes off of him. He knew he was covered in their shame and he did not care at the moment. Watching as Yuri got his shirt and leggings, pulling them on as he sat on the end of the bed, neither speaking or talking. Their silence filled the room as the light of the day slowly creeped in. As Yuri was finished dressing, he grabbed his hair tie again and pulled his hair back in a messy bun.

"Ok, I'm heading home. Get some rest and we will meet up later," Yuri leaned over and kissed him goodbye and Yuuri found his body rising to get more of him, craving the touch that he knew was so wrong.

Getting out of bed, Yuuri grabbed his robe that was on the chair in the bedroom and covered himself as Yuri got ready to leave. Walking through the house, it was quite, eerie. They did not have anything to say, nor could they think of what to say. Reaching the back door, Yuri leaned over one last time and kissed him as he left. Standing at the door, he watched as Yuri walked home.

* * *

The walk of shame was something Yuri had never had in his younger days. Otabek and him always had the same hotel rooms or stayed at each other's places. He had heard of it, Milla was always telling him how horrifying it was. He may not have experienced it in his younger days, but he was having his moment with it now. His leggings were slightly crooked on his body and he was pretty sure his shirt was inside out as his hair started to fall out of the half assed bun he tied up on his head. Yuuri's scent was still on him and he felt the dried cum and lube on his cock as he continued his walk.

His bare feet on the wet grass, the thought of what had happen crossed through his mind. He had no idea why he had gone over there last night, he had no idea what it was that drove him to Yuuri like a magnet, but he had done it. He never wanted to push Yuuri into anything, he didn't want to push himself. Somehow they came to the conclusion together as their bodies met. It was so different than what he had been used too, different movements, moans- it was nothing he had ever experienced. Was it because it was wrong?

When he reached his backyard, he looked across the lawns again, seeing the silhouette of Yuuri's house a few down and shook his head. He had fucked his best friend, he had slept in their married bed and he wanted more. He hated to admit it, he knew he was wrong and he know he should not want it again, but he did. He wanted to hear those sounds from Yuuri's mouth as his body arched to him again.

As he stepped into his house, he wiped his feet on the rug at the back door, wondering if he had dreamed it all or had it really happen. He had never lusted after Yuuri, never thought of him anything more as his friend. They had been in each other's lives for so long, it was just a given between them that they could talk about anything and hang out. They had skated together, gone to each other's weddings, were there when the children entered their lives and now they had crossed a line. It was always clear cut where that lines was. Sure they joked around, but that was it. They were there to support their husbands, raise the children and wait for the day their husbands stayed home with them longer than a few weeks.

Yuri's phone ringing snapped his mind back to where he was. Seeing Otabek calling, he decided he might as well be up for the day and answered it.  
"Hey babe," he said as he went to start some coffee.

"Hope I didn't wake you," that deep voice of Otabek's said. That _familiar_ voice of his husband's he talked to more on the phone than in person. The man he gave his heart and life too. The man who was not here with him.

"Nah, didn't sleep too well so was about to make some coffee. How did your set go?"

"It went good. Had an auxiliary cord go out, but my sound guy is great and no one noticed," Otabek said.

"So where are you headed to next?" Yuri asked as he got a cup out and the milk.

"We go to Spain for a bit then headed to the US for a bit."

"Ah right! So Yuuri and I were thinking to pack up the girls and come out to the New York for a weekend," Yuri said as he started to pour his coffee and work his way to the living room.

"Ah, that would be great! The girls can even watch the show from back stage. Maybe you and Yuuri can go out on the town for a night while they watch the show."

"Da, that would be good, but I'd like some damn time with you too," Yuri said. Feeling the guilt wash over him. He still smelled like Yuuri and he could still feel the places Yuuri had touched and kissed him. Curling on the couch with his cup of coffee, Yuri sipped as he talked with Otabek.

"Of course we can have time. We will get the girls settled and I'll take you out dancing one night," Otabek laughed into the phone.

"Can we get the girls different rooms?"

"I am sure we can swing something," Otabek's deep voice in his ear always makes his spine tingle. Once Otabek got to yawning more and more, Yuri told him to get some sleep and they would talk later.

Yuri had sat in the darkness of his living room as the curtains held the light out and he had not opened them yet. Grabbing the blanket from the back of the couch, he set his cup down and curled into the pillow on the arm rest. His body was tired, his mind was racing, he needed to sleep.

A few hours later, the girls came down and tried to be quiet as they made breakfast. Yuri woke up to giggles and chatter in the kitchen and figured he better rise for the day. Going into the kitchen, he sent the girls away before they wrecked the kitchen and told them they would go to mall later.

Getting their breakfast straight he decided he needed to go shower. He still could smell and feel Yuuri on his skin. His skin almost burned in the places they had touched and before he got in the shower he sent a text to Yuuri that they would leave in an hour and they should look into getting lunch somewhere downtown.

He wanted to keep everything normal, he did not want to lose their friendship, no matter what had happened between them. Washing his shame away in the shower, he closed his eyes and remembered last night. Those hands on his body, how responsive Yuuri was to his touch, to his kisses. It was driving him insane even as he thought about it. Sure him and Otabek had an amazing sex life ( _when he was there_ ), but this was so different. There was a pure sexual innocence that Yuuri had to him as he fucked him, a want, a need he was craving that was driving Yuri insane. How could they go back after this? They had known each other at their most intimate moments. Shared moments friends should never share.

Grabbing his towel, he dried off and let his hair hang long on his back while grabbing some jeans and checking his phone. Yuuri said he had a headache and was going to pass on the trip out.

"Oh no he fucking won't," Yuri growled as he braided his wet hair and grabbed a shirt to put on.

Yelling out to the girls that they would leave in an hour, he slipped his shoes on and headed over to Yuuri's house. Knocking on the backdoor, there was no answer. So he knocked harder. Yuuri still was not answering. Getting out his phone he texted him to come open the door or he was breaking the glass.

It took a few seconds before Yuuri had answered the door.

"What do you want?" Yuuri asked him.

Pushing his way past Yuuri, he stood where they had kissed last night in the mud room and glared at him. Yuuri was in pajama pants and no shirt. He couldn't help but look at him, differently than he usually did.

"You don't have a fucking headache," Yuri growled out.

"Yes I do," Yuuri said as he moved around him and back to the living room.

"You fucking liar!" Yuri said as he followed him, "Is this about last night?"

"What do you think it is?" Yuuri said as he looked at him. There was so much confusion in those brown eyes, Yuri wanted to make it all better for him, easier.

"Ok so what? We fucked. People do that."

"We are married... to other people," Yuuri mumbled out.

Yuri sighed and sat on the other end of the couch. He could see the battle raging in Yuuri between what to do and he wanted nothing to change between them.

"Yeah, no shit. Look, don't think about it… let's just get the girls and go to mall. If you don't go the girls will fucking know something is up," Yuri said.

"We can't do that again," Yuuri said as those eyes fixed back on him again. Though all Yuri could think about was pressing him into the couch and claiming those lips.

Nodding, Yuri agreed, "Well no shit. Plus we need to plan this trip to New York," slapping his knee Yuri got up and went to leave, "Get dressed, we are leaving soon."

The trip to the mall wasn't all that bad. The girls took off the moment they got there. Being alone with Yuuri in public was something different after what had happen. Stopping to get coffee, they sat at a table out on the sidewalk, neither one talking. It was eating at Yuri as usually they could find something to talk about as they had these outings with the girls.

"Come on pig," Yuri said as they finished their coffee, "We are going to go buy things."

"We don't need things," Yuuri whined as they got up and started walking through the outdoor shops.

Yuri shrugged, he knew they did not need things, but he did like buying them. "I think the bath shop has a sale."

Yuri compensated so much with the things he bought. He didn't need anything he had bought that day, but he didn't care. When the girls found them, they begged to go to a movie and they all headed to the theater.

"We buy their fucking tickets and they won't even sit with us," Yuri growled out.

"That's teenagers for you," Yuuri said as they settled into their seats and waited for the opening credits.

As the room darkened and the movie started, Yuri shifted in his seat, trying to get comfortable and felt as a hand took his. Looking over at Yuuri, he saw him looking forward- but he was holding his hand.

How the fuck were they going to forget anything?


	6. Chapter 6

Resisting temptation was hard, very hard. Especially when that temptation was always around with their blonde hair pulled up in a messy bun, leggings that highlighted their perfect ass and a mouth that was made for sucking and kissing.

They said they would stop, they told each other each time it was the last. When they were at the skating rink, things were fine. They worked with the kids and skated around. It was fun, it kept them busy. The days Yuri had Yoga, they were in a room with other people, though Yuri always came over to fix his posture, reposition him- those hands lingering too long on his hips, gripping him too closely to his ass. It set a fire deep inside of him, a fire he missed, a fire that was burning hot again.

They would even stay after class and do some stretches together. Yuuri found his flexibility coming back better as Yuri pulled at him and would even lay over him, pushing his muscles further. It would turn Yuuri on as Yuri would move him limbs around and press on his body. Yuri knew this and would give him mischievous looks as he did it. Yuuri made sure to wear longer shirts of Victor's as there was no way in he could cover how turned on he was. They always found themselves in the locker room, mouths attached as they jerked each other off- a few times Yuri would even suck him dry.

They would say no more, they would say it needed it stop and they always found a way back into each other's arms. Gasping and touching, they could not stop. Out loud they told they other they needed to stop, they wanted to stop. Internally, they wished it never ended. During these moments, thoughts of husbands, vows and children were long forgotten- it was only them two and that was what matter.

Yuuri knew he should stay away, he knew this was all wrong. He found he could not stay away from Yuri, and he found he did not want to stay away from Yuri. Even as they got home from lunch after the rink, it was just habit to go to Yuri's house and if he tried to go home, bitching would erupt. Giving in, every time, Yuuri would settle into the plush couch as Yuri made tea. They talked about their upcoming trip to New York and how they needed to go get a few more things to pack.

"I'm thinking let's head out tomorrow since we leave the next day and grab the last few things we need for the trip and a spa day," Yuri said as he came in with two mugs of tea.

Yuuri nodded as he took his cup. It would be weird being back with Victor for almost a week. They had talked with the school and the girls were ahead and had some work they do while they were in New York so they did not fall behind, and they were talked into making almost a week of their trip. Yuuri was not sure how it would be now that thing had changed with him and Yuri, what it would be like seeing Victor and Otabek. It seemed surreal.

"I'm a little… nervous," Yuuri said as he sipped his tea.

"Nervous? Why?" Yuri asked.

Yuuri felt the blush on his face, he did not want to out right say it and went back to his tea.

"Oh, because we have been fucking?" Yuri asked.

Yuuri nodded. It was not something they really talked about. It was something that had just happened- that kept happening. They would tell each other over and over as they laid in a sweaty, naked mess that that was it, there would be no more. Yuri's long fingers came into his sight as he took Yuuri's mug from him and set it on the coffee table.

There was a grace to Yuri's movements that Yuuri himself was never able to have when off the ice. Yuri took the tie out of his hair then redid his messy bun. It was moments when his hair would spill around his shoulder and down his back that Yuuri would reach out without thinking, and run those strands through his fingers. His back would arch as his fingers went through his hair and piled it back up, wrapping the hair tie around and around then pulling at his hair. Yuuri would sit there and just watch as Yuri did this simple movements, making them sensual and slow. It was like he knew what he was doing to Yuuri as those fingers finished in his perfectly messy bun atop his head.

"You're staring at me again," Yuri said with a smirk.

Yuuri knew he was blushing, lately he seem to stare at Yuri more- differently. Those cold stares he had, the disgusted looks at people, it was different now. Yuuri saw the passion in his face as they kissed, the smile on his mouth when he came, the surprising patience he had when they were together in ways friends should not be.

"I… I don't mean too…" Yuuri stammered out. He always got nervous around Yuri when the mood changed. It was almost as the if the temperature would go up in the room, he would feel his stomach drop and a loud buzzing in his ears. Those emerald eyes, always fixed on him- the intensity behind them coursing through his body.

Yuri would climb in his lap, wrap those long limbs around him as he ran his hands up the side of his face and into his hair. "You can stare all you want," Yuri would say to him. Yuuri had to admit, he liked how Yuri felt on him, he was strong, lean and not overwhelming when he would straddle him. The few times Victor had climbed in his lap, earlier on in their marriage- he felt claustrophobic, Victor was too large, broad, it never worked. But having Yuri in his lap, it felt right and wrong for all different reasons.

Those green eyes bore into him, as if reading his mind. Yuuri would tip his head back as Yuri leaned down to kiss him. He always held Yuri to him tightly, feeling as his body rock against him, those hands in his hair, pulling and scratching at his scalp. It was demanding and needy- it always was. They were with each other and they took every stolen moment they could. Not caring what the outcome was later- _feeling guilty afterwards_.

Pushing Yuri down into the couch, Yuuri was kissing down his neck. The sounds Yuri made were intoxicating; each gasp, each moan, each call of his name only encouraged Yuuri to continue. Hips pressed to meet one another, their hard lengths brushing through their pants as the moans continued. Yuuri worked his way down to the waistband of Yuri's pants, pulling them down, freeing him- taking him deep in his mouth. Yuri would cry out loudly and pull more at his hair. The way Yuri responded to him was addicting. It was not just going through movements to get them done and over with _(just to come)_ , it was hearing those moans, hearing those cries- making them get louder, making them get more needier. He craved this, he craved this need, someone wanting him, someone who could not keep their hands off of him.

It had been too long since Yuuri felt this way, felt like he was wanted- needed. His body was screaming like it had twenty years ago, his libido reaching a new peak he did not know it could at his age. Arching, moaning, calling out Yuuri's name, Yuri came right down his throat.

Looking up to the blonde mess laid out on the couch, his leggings pulled down, his shirt up around his armpits, hair freed from the bun and everywhere, he had to smile. Yuri was flushed and gasping out, he looked beautiful. Moving next to him on the couch, they laid on their sides and Yuri was half laid on his chest. It did not take them long to find that comfort zone, and that should have bothered Yuuri- it didn't. This was something couples did, they were not a couple, _they were friends_ … As Yuri's breathing calmed down, his hands were down his pants, stroking him to completion.

"Yuri," he said as Yuri still kissed at his sweaty neck, never stopping, hands always moving around and on his body.

"You're going to say it again, aren't you?" Yuuri whispered into his ear.

'We can't… we can't…" Yuuri tried to say.

"I know," Yuri said kissing his forehead.

It was how it always was, every time. It made him feel better saying they couldn't do it anymore. Even as they laid on the couch, embraced, it made him feel less horrible about what he was doing- what he was doing to Victor… to Otabek.

* * *

They left in a day for New York and Yuri knew he had everything packed, for him and the girls. He also made sure he had room in their suitcases for anything they bought. Victor was already giving him a huge credit in his store and he planned to take full advantage of it.

"Yuuri, it's spa day!" he said as they dropped the girls off.

"What about the rink?" Yuuri asked.

"I already talked with Georgi and Yakov. They told us to fuck off and have fun," he laughed out.

"So um… what are we doing at the spa?" Yuuri asked.

"You know, facials, Botox, hair trims, waxing and asshole bleaching," Yuri said.

Yuuri started to choke on his coffee as Yuri sped through the city. He had to laugh. He did not think Yuuri had been to a spa in years and Yuri had booked them the full works.

"You are so crude!" Yuuri said as he stopped choking.

"How is it crude if it is what I booked for us?" Yuri asked with a smirk. He already knew Yuuri would freak out over it all, and he got the response he wanted.

Realization hit Yuuri and he looked at Yuri, "Wait… Botox?"

"Da, for us both. Keeps us looking young."

"I've never…"

"Me either, just a little in the forehead, around the laugh lines and eyes. It will settle and fill in the lines," Yuri said, "Plus I need a trim and you too." Taking his hand, Yuri ran his fingers through Yuuri's hair where it was starting to get longer. Yuri secretly liked how it would curl at the ends when Yuuri got sweaty, or how it would be all mused after they fooled around, but Yuuri had been complaining he needed a trim, so he booked it for them both.

"Maybe I should dye it to," Yuuri said as he flipped the visor down at the passenger seat and opened the mirror. The sides of his hair over his ears was more gray than black these days.

"No, I like it. Leave your color as it is," Yuri growled out. There was something about Yuuri and his grays that he really liked. It was not all over, few strands here and there, but primarily on the sides of his hair, it made him sexier. Otabek's facial hair was peppered in grays and when he was home and not on tour, Yuri would talk him into a close, neatly trimmed beard. He could appreciate those small little signs of them getting older, and how it made them look more distinguished, more handsome.

"Are you sure?" Yuuri said as he combed back the sides of his hair with his fingers, "I mean, if we are doing Botox and all… shouldn't I at least try to cover these grays?"

Lacing his fingers with Yuuri's, he turned briefly and looked at him. "Leave it as it is, I like it."

Yuuri nodded, sat back in his seat and finished his coffee as they got to the spa. Yuri had them set with massages, facials- the works. They got their hair trimmed and when the Botox was injected, Yuri was not expecting it burn the way it did. They both cursed and Yuri wanted to rub his face, but the lady advised them not to touch it. When he looked over at Yuuri, he was scrunching his face and cursing in Japanese.

"This burns!" Yuuri said.

"Wait till they wax and bleach your-"

"-Yuri!"

Outside of the waxing, it was relaxing, they were wrapped in smelly oils and conditioners in their hair. He felt like he was readying his body for his husband- the body he kept willing giving to his friend. It seemed surreal to him that he was here with the man he had been fooling around with, only to make themselves presentable for others. Yuri thought about Victor and how he would be touching Yuuri where he had been touching, kissing that mouth he had been kissing.

He hated to think he was jealous over it, or that it even bothered him. He was going to see Otabek too. _His husband_. He knew they would be all over each other. He had to wonder if Yuuri thought the same thoughts he did. Did he wonder what him and Otabek did? Did it bother him knowing he was going to fuck his husband?

It was always intense with Otabek, their sex was always amazing. With Yuuri it was different. He wanted to be slow with Yuuri, he wanted to consume him slowly and watch him fall apart under his hands. He was learning what drove Yuuri crazy and he felt a certain pride knowing he could make Yuuri come undone this way. Did Victor make him come undone like that? Did Victor get Yuuri to the point of begging and pleading to fuck him? Did Victor get on his knees in a locker room and suck Yuuri off?

Yuri was broken from his thoughts when the women came into unwrap their bodies from the wraps they were in. It had looked as if Yuuri had dozed off during it all. He looked relaxed and he look refreshed. Yuri wished he had relaxed, but his mind never stop running through all the thing they were about to face.

The flight was boring and long. The girls sat at the front of the first class section as they wanted to sit together. He was next to Yuuri in the back of first class. The movie started to play, they slipped on their earphones and the stewardess brought them their drinks. Yuri told himself he would accept the fact they were off to see their husbands and they were friends now, nothing more, nothing less. The lights in the plane cabin had dimmed down and the movie started. A warm hand had found his, interlocking their fingers. Yuri looked down at the hand and then over to Yuuri, it was a warm smile and a gentle squeeze of his hand. The cabin was dark, no one would see- Yuri leaned over and kissed Yuuri; he kissed back.

They left it at that, Yuuri held his hand, even as they fell asleep and they woke up in New York- Yuuri's head was on his shoulder when they stewardess had come to wake them. It had only been a few weeks, but it felt like so much more. It was time to go see his husband.


	7. Chapter 7

Yuuri was excited to see Victor, he always was. He felt refreshed from the spa and his body alive after the last few weeks with Yuri. A limo waited for them outside the airport and as it drove them through the city, the girls were squealing as they saw the large city. Yuuri wished Victor had met them at the airport, but he said he would leave the store early and meet at the hotel. Yuri had mentioned Otabek was also meeting at the hotel, so they sat there and watched as the girls looked out the window and yelled at all the places they wanted to go too.

"Excited to see Otabek?" Yuuri asked Yuri.

"Da, of course I am," Yuri said. Yuuri notice how deadpan flat his voice was and how he just stared out the window. Nudging Yuri, he gave him a worried look and Yuri shook his head. They were almost at the hotel and the girl started to squeal once they pulled up.

Yuuri had to smile as Victor and Otabek were both out on the sidewalk, smiling and waiting for their families. The girls ran out the limo and into their fathers' arms. Yuuri stood back as the driver got their bags out and onto a cart for them. Once Anfisa let Victor go, Victor smiled at Yuuri and held his arms out to him. Victor never came to him, he always stood and waited for Yuuri. Leaping into those arms, Yuuri felt them wrap around him, that broad strong body pulling him in and a kiss to his temple.

"I missed you, beautiful," Victor whispered into his hair.

"Yes, it has been too long," Yuuri said. He could feel the warmth in Victor's embrace and when they pulled away, Victor looked at him closely.

"You look different," Victor said.

Yuuri blushed, "Spa with Yurio, we might have done facials and Botox."

Victor smiled and kissed his forehead, "Well whatever it is, you are glowing."

Looking over, Yuuri saw Yuri wrapped around Otabek as they kissed, he had to smile as they looked so good together. They went into the grand hotel and got the girls settled into their room (they got them a room together) before Yuuri was pulling Victor to their room.

"Our bags are coming up in a min-" Yuuri had cut Victor off, pulling his face to his, kissing him. He had missed his husband, it had been too many weeks and he was with him now. Yuuri felt alive and wanted nothing more than to take his husband right there. A knock at the door had Yuuri groaning and Victor laughed.

"I tried to warn you," Victor smiled down at him, "Why don't you go run a hot bath and I'll have them put your stuff away."

"Join me in the tub?" Yuuri asked and Victor smiled down at him.

"Let me go get our bags, I got you bath beads from the boutique down the street."

Yuuri stepped back and looked around the room. They were in a large sitting room that had a desk off to the side, a large picture window that looked over the city and lead into a bedroom. As Yuuri went through the archway, the bed was overwhelmingly huge, a wardrobe and dresser- off to the side he saw where the bathroom was. Everything was large and overly done in this room, it was so like Victor and Yuuri had to smile.

Venturing to the bathroom, there was a jacuzzi sized tub (jets and all). Yuuri saw towels, robes, slippers and all different jars by the tub with different scents and soaps. Starting the water, Yuuri smelled the contents of each jar, Victor had gotten quite a few different scents, but there was a Vanilla one with a hint of spicy wood to it, smiling, he poured some of those into the bath as he heard Victor explaining where to put all the suitcases. A few moments later, the door to the bathroom opened as Yuuri started to turn off the water.

"The girls are meeting us for dinner, they wanted to rest a bit and go to the hotel pool," Victor said.

Smiling, Yuuri walked over where Victor was and hugged him again, it was nice to be back with Victor and he didn't seem so preoccupied with work. Feeling those strong arms around him, Yuuri felt at home again, even though they were in a rented room, this was his home and had been for twenty years.

"I missed you so much," Yuuri said. This was one of the longest times they had been apart, and though even when Victor was home, he was ignored, it was the fact knowing he was there.

"I missed you too," Victor said, "I won't go this long again, promise."

Something about them being apart just brought them closer. He had no idea how Yuri did this all the time with Otabek gone for months on end. Just a few weeks, and Yuuri was losing his mind, and he felt whole again.

"I am so glad you have Yuri there now to keep you company," Victor said as he kissed Yuuri's forehead.

Yuuri could only nod, the guilt had twisted in his gut, he needed Victor to make him _his_ again. As much as he loved the attention from Yuri the past few weeks, he missed his husband's attention.

"Touch me," Yuuri whispered up to Victor.

Victor kissed him deeply while keeping a tight hold on Yuuri, he felt himself mold against that broad chest and held onto the back of his shirt as if his life depended on it. Victor ran his hands over his back and Yuuri gasped into their kiss. Rocking his hips into Victor, he could feel Victor was starting to get turned on and moaned.

"Please Vitya… I _need_ you," Yuuri whined.

Victor moved his mouth down Yuuri's neck, kissing and biting, "Yes baby, anything you want."

Yuuri found himself and Victor stripped down quickly, he was turned and bent over the vast cold marble counter in the bathroom, his hands on the mirror as Victor grabbed the lube and worked him open quickly.

"Vitya! Please!" Yuuri cried out as Victor was taking too long.

A hard thrust and Yuuri looked into the mirror, Victor's face and chest were flushed as his hips were pressed against his ass, burying himself as deep as he could, those hands sinking into his hips, holding him strong. It stung and Yuuri gasped, he loved that feeling and he way he could feel Victor twitching inside of him. Yuuri continued to watch as Victor slowly pulled out and slammed back into him. He cried out and could not take his eyes off of Victor, so strong and powerful behind him, tearing him apart from the inside. Yuuri continued to cry out as Victor slammed hard in him, over and over again while his finger dug deeply into his hips, he couldn't wait to see the bruises that would be left.

Victor slammed deep as Yuuri cried out and came all over the counter, Victor had been pounding his prostate relentlessly, a hard grip at his hips and Victor was calling his name and he leaned his chest on Yuuri's back, panting hard and kissing his shoulder. The hands were gentler now as Victor ran them up his sides and pulled him off the counter, slipping his cock out and holding Yuuri tightly.

"Let's get that bath," Victor whispered in his ear.

They were still wrapped in fluffy bathrobes when the adjoining door to their room opened. Anfisa came bouncing in, giggling and talking a mile a minute. She was still wet from the pool and had her towel wrapped around her body.

"How much longer till dinner?" she asked.

Victor hopped off the bed and hugged her tightly, he didn't seem to care she was wet and shivering.

"About another hour or so, why don't you go shower and we will come get you when it is time," Victor said.

"Nina is in our shower, I mean really dad? Three girls and one bathroom? Are you kidding me?" she said.

"Well we figured you three would want to stay together," Victor said.

"Well duh, but still," she said.

"Go get your stuff, you can use ours," Victor said, "Oh and I got you a dress for dinner. Brought it up from the store."

Anfisa smiled and kissed Victor on the cheek. Yuuri loved watching the moments those two had. Anfisa always looked up to Victor as if he were a god and the most magnificent thing on the earth. She was a daddy's girl through and through. As she came back through the room with her shower bag, Victor got a dress out the wardrobe and Yuuri had to smile at the squealing that had erupted over the dress.

"Oh daddy! It is beautiful!" she squealed and hugged Victor tightly. It was a simple flare dress in a powder blue with white ribbon at the waist. Victor always got her soft colors and Yuuri laughed as the only time she wore pastels were when Victor had gotten them for her. "I got you some heels too to go with it, but go shower and then back to your room to get ready."

As Anfisa skipped off to the bathroom, Victor turned back where Yuuri was on the bed, his robe tightly around him. Yuuri lifted his leg and pointed his toes, "Do I get heels too?" He asked teasingly.

Victor laughed and grabbed his foot. Kissing at the arch, Yuuri wiggled under how his lips tickled his foot. "You're going to give me a heart attack," Victor whispered into Yuuri's foot, causing him to squirm a bit more. "I'm going to go check my work email, then we can get ready for dinner, ok?"

As quickly as it had started, it had stopped. Yuuri was use to this, but he was hoping he would have more than a quick fuck and bath with his husband.

"Vitya… no. We just got here. Lay with me," Yuuri whined and reached for Victor's wrist, pulling him down to the bed.

A quick kiss and Victor was getting off the bed, "Just a few emails I need to go answer, then I am all yours for dinner and maybe we can do a walk through Central Park afterwards?"

Yuuri nodded. He was getting time with Victor, and he knew he still had to work, he just hated it. Grabbing the remote, he turned the TV on and settled in till it was time to change for dinner.

* * *

"Nina, Nika!" Yuri said, "You two behave, and if you need anything, we are right next door."

"Oh Papa! Our door opens to the Nikiforov's room," Nika answered.

Yuri kissed their foreheads, "I know, but we are just one door down too, ok? Don't go bothering them too much."

"We got Anfisa with us and Victor says there is a huge pool and hot tub in the hotel too!" Nina squealed out.

"Da, there is. Just make sure you are ready for dinner," Yuri said as Otabek had taken his arm and started to pull him out the room. "Beka… are you sure they are going-"

Otabek had kissed Yuri and pressed him to the wall right outside their door. Yuri fussed too much over the girls sometimes, and Otabek would reel him back in from being so overprotective.

"They are fine, now come on. I've missed you and wanted you too much," Otabek pulled Yuri into their room and Yuri knew immediately that Victor had picked all these out. If it was up to Otabek, he would be in a shitty cheap motel. He always counted on Yuri to do the accommodations and luxuries.

Otabek dragged Yuri to the couch in their sitting room and before Yuri knew it, there were hands up his shirt, pulling it over his head and lips on his skin. Otabek's mouth was hot and demanding. There were moans coming from Otabek as he pressed Yuri into the couch and laid on top of him. His arousal already pressed into Yuri's hip as he bit down his neck.

"Don't leave any marks!" Yuri hissed out.

"Never bothered you before," Otabek said as he licked up his neck to his ear.

"Fucking animal," Yuri growled as he pulled Otabek's hair.

Otabek liked when Yuri pulled his hair, he liked when Yuri was rough and fast with him. It was everything the last few weeks had not been. Yuri's mind flashed to slow, passionate love making sessions he had recently and he felt his cock start to swell. Guilt swirled in his stomach as he had to think of something else to get turned on. He was with his husband, the man he loved and gave his life and body too- a man that wanted him so desperately, he was ignoring the knock at the door.

"Beka," Yuri growled and he pushed him off of him, "the door."

"It is just your bags" Otabek said as he sat up.

"Yeah well I need my shit," Yuri said as he went to get the door.

Yuri let the man in with the cart of his bags. He started to unpack his stuff, waving the guy off and then Otabek was on him again.

"Let me get my shit put away," Yuri growled- but he was already pinned down to the bed.

"You can do that later. I need you now," Otabek said, his mouth back on his neck and running down his bare chest.

Yuri knew it was pointless when Otabek was in one of his moods, so he gave in. It was hard and it was fast. Otabek was demanding, pulling his body to him, slamming into him, grunting and groaning. Yuri found he had to stroke his dick extra hard to get off- it wasn't the same. Yuri missed the gentle touch, the heated kisses that weren't rough, the softer, smaller body next to his. _He needed to stop these thoughts._

They laid in a mess on the bed, Yuri had his head on Otabek's chest listening to his heartbeat. It was a comfortable position they had gotten accustomed to being married as long as they had been- _it was also how he laid against Yuuri._

There was something intimate and secret about listening to someone's heartbeat. It was their lifeline, not something everyone got to hear. Your doctor listen to it, to make sure it was ok, your mother listened to it through a machine while pregnant, even as she held you as a baby, your children would listen to it as they fell asleep against you- it was something you allowed your lover to hear. This was not a sound you just let anyone hear. Yuri loved to hear the strum of it as Otabek's heart banged in his chest and would slowly calm down, he fell asleep like this almost every time Otabek was around. It was something he had listen to from his _friend… lover- right down the hallways. The same friend and lover that was probably fucking his husband, not thinking of him._

They had drifted off to sleep for a little bit before their phones chimed, waken them up. Victor was saying they had reservations in two hours. Groaning, Yuri rolled off Otabek's chest and could feel the dried sweat and cum on his body. Otabek stirred and pulled Yuri back on him, kissing his neck and running his hands over his body.

"We got dinner in two hours," Yuri said as he pushed off Otabek.

"We can go a couple times in two hours," Otabek teased and ran his hands down Yuri's back and pulled him on top of him.

Yuri groaned as he climbed on Otabek, he knew it was unfair if he didn't act his normal self, but something was pulling at him, eating at him, and being with his husband was not helping. His girls were in another room and his friend was two doors down. It all felt wrong, it had all _been wrong_ for weeks and Yuri had pretended it was all right.

No, no- _this was right_. Being with Otabek, his _husband_ \- climbing on Otabek, seeing the love in his eyes as he looked up to Yuri, it tore at his heart. This man loved him with every fiber of his being and Yuri had been playing games. Sinking down on Otabek's cock, Yuri put fire behind his kiss, ran his nails down his chest, and bounced on his lap the way Otabek liked the most. He would not think about what was happening two doors down, he would not think of what had been happening the last few weeks…

Victor had gotten all three girl dresses- they were he same style and cut, but they all had them in different colors. They giggled all through dinner and were on their phones till the food came and they were told to put them away. Yuri saw how happy the girls looked, being in the city, and Victor had even ordered the limo to take them to the restaurant.

Otabek had two shows the next day and Yuri was taking the girls to the earlier one with Yuuri and Victor. They were all excited to see him play (not that they hadn't many times before) and Victor had taken the day off to spend with his family.

He could not help but notice the glow to Yuuri's face as he sat next to his husband, the way Yuuri's hand continued to caress over the top of Victor's hand or how he just looked up to the man as if he were the best thing ever created. As Yuri sat there, he leaned into Otabek who had his arm casually slung over his chair.

"More wine babe?" Otabek asked him.

"Da, a lot more," Yuri said as Otabek refilled his glass. Yuri probably drank it back faster than he should have, it was his second glass and the main entree had not even shown up yet. He kept looking over where Yuuri's face was lit up with laughter and his girls giggling at a table of boys near by to them. Leaning more into the warmth of Otabek, he felt a chill.

As the dinner drew on, Yuri drank more and more and stayed quiet. It was out of character for him, but the girls were talking to their dads they had missed so much. Yuri just let the roar of the table around him drown out. Yuuri had leaned over to kiss Victor's cheek and Yuri threw him napkin down. Otabek looked over to him and raised his eyebrow.

"Gotta piss, be right back," Yuri said as he got out of his chair, wobbling as he wine had hit him. He just had to get away from the table for a bit. It was all too much. His mind was foggy and confused. He was here with his husband he should be thankful and excited. Instead he kept looking over where Yuuri and Victor were, watching Yuuri practically purr in Victor's general direction.

As he zipped up and turned around, Otabek had walked into the bathroom. He had a concerned look on his face. Yuri knew he had not been acting right since they got there, and he needed to stop. He needed to be indifferent, he needed to be an ass, he needed to be compulsive. Grabbing Otabek by his shirt, he pulled him tight and kissed him deeply. Pushing Otabek to the nearest stall, he pressed against him and heard Otabek moan. Hands working fast, he had Otabek's cock in hand, stroking him as he fell to his knees on the tile floor.

"Yura?" Otabek asked as Yuri looked up at him. Sure Otabek was older now, but fuck if he was not sexy. His hair neatly tied back, a shadow kissing his sharp jaw line, his body still tight and firm, Yuri knew he was the luckiest asshole ever. He sucked Otabek hard and fast- he knew how to get him off quickly, you were not with anyone for as long as they were and not know how to make them come undone quickly.

When he was done, Otabek lifted him back to his feet and kissed him. "We haven't done that since before the girls came."

"I blow you all the time," Yuri growled and stumbled, the wine still too much for him.

Otabek laughed, "No, I mean in a bathroom stall."

Yuri smirked, "Well maybe we need to stop being such an old married couple then."

"You'll never be old Yura, I swear you never age," Otabek said as he ran his hand down his face.

Yuri embraced Otabek, breathing in his familiar scent. This was what he needed to be thinking about, his husband- _to have and to hold._


	8. Chapter 8

The next morning, Yuuri was wrapped around Victor as the sun spilled into their hotel suite. It was a wonderful night and Yuuri was smiling as he held Victor tightly.

"Good morning beautiful," Victor said as he hugged him tightly. Yuuri was kissing along Victor's neck, loving the attention he was getting from his husband. Victor had made love to Yuuri that night and he was all smiles this morning. _This_ was what he was missing in his marriage. The spark they had for so long, the intimacy. Yuuri _needed_ this. He needed touch, he needed kisses, he needed to _feel_ loved.

Anyone can support you, hell, for years sponsors supported him and Victor. Lately, Yuuri had felt Victor was sponsoring their family. Was always gone, filling the bank account, telling Yuuri to go buy things.

Yuuri was proud of his husband, more than anything. He had started from the ground up- him and Chris with an idea to make a clothing line. At first everyone just wanted sport attire from them, but they wanted more. After ten years, they were leading the fashion industry and Yuuri was left behind (or so he felt).

It was nice to hug Victor and have him naked in the bed next to him again. It had been so long going to bed with sleep clothes on and on _their sides_ of the bed. It was nice to have the warmth of Victor next to him, holding him.

Yuuri kissed at his neck more, working his hands around his chest and down his body. Victor had grabbed his hands and chuckled. "Oh Yuuri, not now."

Yuuri moaned and moved against Victor, letting him feel how hard he was. "But Vitya, just a quicky," Yuuri purred in his ear.

"Oh baby, we just did last night. I need a rest," Victor said as he kissed his forehead and went to get out of bed.

Yuuri groaned as the warmth from the bed left. "Vitya…"

"I'm gonna go get a shower and run to the store for a bit. Want me to order you some breakfast?" Victor asked as his back was turned to Yuuri.

 _There is was again._ Victor walking away from him. Yuuri had seen this so many times.

"I thought you had the day off to spend with me and Anfisa?" Yuuri asked.

"Well since her and the Altin girls are going with Otabek to help set up the sound-stage, I figured I could go in for a bit. I mean, maybe you and Yuri could go shopping or something," Victor said he turned and smiled at Yuuri.

"But I wanted the time with _you_ ," Yuuri said.

"I know baby," Victor said as he walked over to the bed and kissed his forehead, "But I need to check on a few shipments scheduled for Monday."

"Vitya…" Yuuri whined.

"Please, Yuuri. You knew I was still working," Victor said and turned going into the bathroom.

Yuuri laid in bed, his hard on already flagging. He had had such high hopes for this trip and being as Victor was showering him in attention yesterday, it was short lived. He was left in a cold bed, alone.

This was what Yuuri hated most. They had spent so much of the their first years attached at the hip, and now it was stolen moments here and there. Yuuri craved those. They were coming further and further apart. He told himself he wouldn't cry, but he felt the tears slip down his cheek.

Rolling over, Yuuri grabbed his phone. He was upset now and alone.

 **Yuuri:** _Wanna do breakfast? Vic headed to store._ **Yuri:** _Yeah, give me an hour. Girls and Otabek getting ready now._ **Yuuri:** _See you then!_ **Yuri:** _Order me bacon and extra coffee!_

Yuuri could not help it, he had to smile. He almost hated how he leaned on Yuri to feel validation in himself. Yuri had been there the last few months, as a friend and even… _lover_. Yuuri hated using that word as Yuri was so much to him. They had gotten so close since he moved to Russia, and even more so the last few weeks.

Yuuri hated to think because they were being intimate he thought and felt more towards Yuri, but he knew he could not lie to himself. Yuuri felt something different for Yuri, and he refused to admit to himself. Last night he could not help but notice that Yuri kept looking over at him. The problem was, Victor was finally giving him attention, and regardless- he could not turn away from it.

Yuuri loved Victor with everything he had. He hated he turned to someone else for the touches, and the feeling of worth. The problem was, Yuuri knew he would follow Victor to the edges of the world, without second thought, but he also knew he would want to hold Yuri's hand as he did it.

As the bathroom door opened, Victor came out, dressed and ready to go. He kissed Yuuri on the forehead before leaving. Yuuri ordered breakfast then just waited- what he always did. Anfisa came squealing into the room, excited over her day and kissing him goodbye. Yuuri said they would all meet for dinner before the show as Victor got them all reservations.

How long had Yuuri spent waiting? He waited for Victor to notice him again, he waited for Anfisa to grow up and get more independent, he now waited for Yuri to finish with _his husband_ to come spend time with him.

It was ridiculous. What was he doing? Why was he doing this? All because Victor wouldn't fuck him again? He had gotten it twice yesterday and one rejection- he was calling Yuri.

It was not fair to Victor and it was not fair to Yuri. He saw the glares Yuri had sent him last night, he ignored them. He ignored when Yuri jumped from the table and ran off, he even ignored when Otabek came back to the table with that familiar smirk on his face.

Why did they continue to do this to themselves? They had husbands, they couldn't keep doing this. It was only suppose to physical, not emotional.

Physical would be just fucking. Pure raw fucking. That was _not_ what they did. They cuddled and they kissed. The sex was intense, Yuri was intense- it was all passion and fire. The line was blurred- it blurred more and more everyday. They held hands when no one was looking, they spent every minute when they were home together.

That is what a relationship should be. It should be two people who can't stand to be apart. It should not be someone there to fill a void that your husband had left.

There was a knock at the door and Yuuri tightened his robe as he went to answer, breakfast and Yuri were waiting.

"You better have ordered me bacon," Yuri said.

"That is what you asked for," Yuuri said as they set the tray down in the sitting room.

Yuuri stared at Yuri. This trip was everything he had wanted it be, till this morning. Here he was, calling on Yuri, _using Yuri_. It was wrong, he could not help it. Yuri stood there, his blonde hair braided neatly down his back, leopard print leggings with an oversized tunic top that his shoulder hung out of. He was beautiful, he was _there_.

Yuri just stood there. Neither bothered with the food on the tray. Their stare was intense, and the tension in the room was thick. Yuuri felt he could choke on it. He was so torn as he was _just_ with his husband, and now he stood here with Yuri, and he knew what this was asking of him.

Yuuri knew that Yuri had been with Otabek. That did not bother Yuuri, he understood they were married, and that they had wild sex. Yuuri _knew_ this. The mark on Yuri's collarbone showed it in the way the shirt hung off his shoulder. It made Yuuri wonder if Yuri wanted him to see it. Did Yuri not want to continue this?

Shifting on his feet, Yuuri had to look away. Yuri was too beautiful standing there. He just knew he was going to be rejected, _again_. This was just breakfast. Nothing more.

If that was so, then why did his throat burn and his vision blur?

* * *

"So you and the girls are going to be gone all day?" Yuri asked as he laid on top of Otabek, his cock still in him.

"Yeah," Otabek said as he started to worry the same spot on his collarbone again. It was sore, it was Otabek marking him, like he always did.

"Fuck, stop! That hurts dammit," Yuri hissed and rolled off of Otabek, feeling his cum slip from his ass.

Otabek moaned and rolled over on top of Yuri, kissing his neck and pulling his hair. "But you are coming out to the show tonight, right?"

"Da. I think the old man got us dinner reservations and all that shit. Some fancy place," Yuri said as he ran his nails down Otabek's back and heard him hiss out. "You should probably go shower, girls will be banging on the door soon."

Otabek shook his head, "No, I want to smell like you all day, babe."

"You are so fucking gross," Yuri groaned as Otabek pressed down on him again.

"You love it," Otabek said into his ear, his facial hair tickling his neck.

"Whatever, you gross brute," Yuri groaned as Otabek chuckled and got off the bed.

One thing Yuri could never complain about, was how fucking hot Otabek was. His body was so tight and built- watching him walk to his suitcase and get his boxers out had Yuri almost turned on again (even though he had just cum).

"Gross! You really _aren't_ showering!" Yuri yelled out and threw a pillow at Otabek.

"Told you I wasn't. I want to smell you all day," Otabek said as he hand went into his boxers and grabbed his own cock.

"Fuck, Beka! And you say I am the crude one!" Yuri heard his phone chime and saw Yuuri was texting him. He wanted breakfast. He had not eaten yet as he woke up to Otabek fingering him and kissing his neck.

"I learned from the best," Otabek said as he went to grab his pants.

Yuri groaned and climbed out of bed, "Well I am going to go shower. You made a mess of my ass."

Otabek was on him instantly, kissing him and grabbing his ass. He felt as his fingers slipped between his cheeks, pushing at the lube and cum all on and in his ass. Yuri moaned, his body still sensitive from earlier. Otabek kept teasing him, pressing a finger in him, then out. He knew how to drive Yuri insane.

"I need to go shower," Yuri mumbled against Otabek's lips. The last thing he needed was to go see Yuuri with cum dripping out his ass.

"You should stay like this today," Otabek said as he bit down on his shoulder, "Have my cum on your ass all day."

"So fucking filthy," Yuri growled as he pushed Otabek off of him. Going into the bathroom, Yuri made sure to wash down real good, and as he was about done, the door slid open and Otabek was giving him a kiss before he left. He could hear the girls outside the door calling their goodbyes.

Once he was all alone, Yuri made sure he braided his hair and dressed the way he knew Yuuri liked. He had noticed whenever he wore leggings, Yuuri could never take his eyes off of him. He tried to tell himself he was not dressing for Yuuri, but even if he did not admit it to himself, he knew he was.

Now that he was there, in the room with Yuuri, breakfast was long forgotten. All Yuri wanted to do was rush Yuuri, hold him in his arms and kiss him deeply. Yuuri stood there, wearing nothing but a hotel robe, his hair all messed around him. Fuck, he looked hot like that.

Yuri knew the mark on his collarbone showed, he wanted him to see it, wanted him to know he was fucking his husband as he was sure Yuuri was too. It was mean of him, but he did not care. Let him see it, let him _know_.

He hated how jealous he was over everything since they had gotten there. For the past few months, Yuuri's days revolved around him. Seeing him with Victor brought out feelings he hated having.

What was only a few seconds, felt like forever. Yuuri just stood there staring at him, and Yuri could not take it anymore. Closing the distance between them, Yuri took Yuuri in his arms, feeling his body melt into his. He felt so good next to him, fit so good against him. Cupping Yuuri's face in his hands, Yuri kissed him. Those full lips pressed to his, Yuuri was moaning immediately.

Taking Yuuri's hand, they went to where the bed was- still unmade. Yuri tried not to think about it as he slipped the robe off of Yuuri, ignoring the marks on his chest and body as his hands ran all over him. He was still fully dressed, but he had Yuuri pressed into the bed, kissing him everywhere, wanting nothing more than to make marks over the marks already on him. _He knew he couldn't. No markings were allowed._

He already knew Yuuri had only called him over because Victor had left him, _again_. He knew was only a replacement for Victor- he didn't care. At this moment he had Yuuri moaning and calling _his_ name out.

Sitting up, Yuri stripped out his clothes, noticing how Yuuri's eyes stayed on him as he did so. Grabbing the lube, he coated his fingers and started to press his fingers into Yuuri. He was not tight like he usually was, but he was not fully stretched. It rang in Yuri's head as to why but he shook that thought out of his mind as he knew he spent the morning fucking his own husband.

Yuuri whined and moaned even more. There was something in his moans that made Yuri drunk. He wanted those sounds, he wanted to know _he_ made Yuuri moan, made Yuuri come undone. Leaning down, Yuri licked up Yuuri's cock, hearing him moan loudly at the contact. Wrapping his lips around the tip of his cock, Yuri looked up and saw where Yuuri was staring down at him. Their eyes locking as he twirled his tongue, playing with the slit at the end of his cock, seeing Yuuri's face twist and hearing him moan.

He did not break eye contact with Yuuri as he continued to suck up and down his cock, licking his length, swallowing him down. There was something so different when he was with Yuuri, there was a connection they had they did not have with their husbands. Yuri knew it was wrong, he loved Otabek so much, but he did not want to ever give this up either.

This was the guy who was there when he needed a friend, the guy who comforted him when Otabek left, the guy who took his yoga classes even though Yuri knew he hated yoga. Otabek had gone to one class once back in Almaty, and he never went again. He said he hated it and his body was not made for yoga.

Yuuri always believed in him, even when he was a bratty kid. Yuuri never lashed out at him, he took all the verbal abuse thrown at him, then comforted him when he needed it. As Yuri thinks back, Yuuri and Otabek were so important to him, yet so differently.

"Yuri!" he heard his name screamed again as he slowly licked back up his cock and kissed at his hip. He knew he was driving Yuuri made, his fingers were pushing against prostate and he was not stopping. He taste each moment he hit that sensitive spot inside, Yuuri always leaked with each press, and Yuri could not get enough.

Rolling over, Yuri pulled Yuuri to him, letting him straddle his hips. Grabbing the lube, Yuri stroked his length, getting impatient to be inside him. Moaning out when he felt Yuuri sink down on his cock. He loved this feeling, he loved when Yuuri's face would go slack the moment he was fully seated.

Holding still, Yuuri braced his hands on Yuri's chest. Their eyes never leaving each other as Yuuri slow rose up and came down quickly. Yuri moaned at each movement of those hips. How Victor did not take advantage of this every moment he got, was beyond him. He could not get enough of Yuuri, the way his body would move with his, the way his hips seem to angle just right, making his ass even tighter, how open he was in bed- Yuri knew he was being selfish. _He didn't care_.

The moment Yuuri leaned forward, kissing him as his hips never stopped was what did it over for Yuri. Crying out against Yuuri's lips, he came deep in Yuuri.

"Fuck!" Yuri cried out, Yuuri had not gotten off yet.

A gentle kiss and Yuuri was grabbing the lube and moving between his legs.

"Someone is still stretched," Yuuri said with a smile. Grabbing the lube, Yuuri coated his cock and sunk in Yuri. It was too much. Yuri had already cum twice that morning, and his body was still recovering from his last orgasm.

"Yuuri!"

Everything in Yuri's body was crying out. His cock was limp against his body, his legs pushed up to his chest, and Yuuri was pounding in him at a steady pace. He was thankful it had not lasted long. His body was spent. As Yuuri released, his hips locked against his, Yuri grabbed Yuuri's hands and pulled him into a kiss.

* * *

Victor hates he had to leave Yuuri. He really did. He knew he had been gone a lot lately, but he was setting up for their future. Sure, they had more money than they could ever spend, but he wanted to secure it and secure their daughter's future.

It was an email that had come in, the shipments were messed up for Monday. He needed those for the new launch on Thursday. He had emailed Chris, but Chris was still in Paris working on the new line. Sometimes he thought he should do what Chris did, get an assistant. Someone he could pull on to handle things like this. Then maybe he could have more time with family.

It thrilled him that Yuuri and Anfisa had come out for the weekend. He had been looking forward to it. One day he would move Yuuri and himself to Paris, and they could go out to eat every night, maybe even out dancing again- Victor missed that. The alone time.

It was hard running a business, especially as big as theirs was. He was lucky to have Chris to pull on- but Chris was good at the designs, Victor at the business and the stores. He had told Chris only a few more years and he was stepping back. He needed his life with his Yuuri again. Anfisa would be off to college, though he loved his daughter more than life itself, he looked forward to moments with Yuuri and work not on his mind.

Victor always got lost in his work. Just like his skating had been. It had taken him 27 years and Yuuri to find the meaning of Life and Love- and he knew he was doing it again. He told himself he would make an appointment with his doctor, maybe get a little blue pill to help with his libido. He was pushing fifty, and his body was not letting him ignore that.

"Seriously, I have to be out of here by lunch time. I said I wanted the day off to spend with my family," Victor said to the lady he had been working with at the store. He would soon hand it all over to her to run, but right now, he was still needed too much.

"Right, it is just, the items are stuck in customs," she said.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Victor got on his laptop, and starting doing what he did best these days, work.

* * *

Yuuri laid in bed, holding Yuri's hand. Their rings clashing against one another.

"So what was that, last night at the restaurant?" Yuuri asked.

Yuri shrugged and held Yuuri tighter.

"You stomped off in the middle of dinner…" Yuuri said.

"Felt like sucking Beka off in the bathroom," Yuri said, rolling off the bed. "Let's go eat breakfast. It is probably cold by now."

Yuuri watched Yuri gather his clothes and go to the bathroom. Grabbing some tissues, he cleaned up and went out to the sitting room, waiting for Yuri to come join him. The coffee was still hot but the food had gotten cold. He did not care much and grabbed a piece of bacon as Yuri came out.

"Eating my bacon?" Yuri asked as he sat next to him, pouring them both coffee.

They sat quietly, so much between them needing to be said, not saying a word. Yuuri knew they had to get through his weekend with their husbands, then they needed to talk and figure out what this all was…


	9. Chapter 9

Victor texted Yuuri saying he was stuck at the office and that him and Yuri should just go out for the day. Yuuri shook his head as he read the text. He felt the quick pang of disappointment, though he was use to it, it still hurt. When the text had come in, they were on the couch, cuddling while a movie played on the television. Yuuri was absently combing Yuri's blonde hair with his fingers and Yuri was laid with his back to Yuuri's chest as they ignored the movie.

"Victor can't make lunch," he said as he sat his phone back down.

"Doesn't surprise me," Yuri said as he closed eyes, enjoying his hair being played with. Yuuri had taken it out of the braid and was steadily playing with the strands and massaging his scalp.

"Just kinda hoped he would have spent more time with me," Yuuri said.

"So you could ignore me more, you mean?" Yuri growled out.

Yuuri wrapped his arms around Yuri. It was hard to explain it all. He hated Yuri felt this way, he hated that he understood it all. He felt so torn, he loved Victor so much, that was his _husband_ , but yet, here he was, holding another man- not wanting to let him go either.

"Yuri… we need to talk," Yuuri said. Yuri tried to sit up and move away, but Yuuri held him tighter, "No, Yuri, you are not running off."

"There is nothing to talk about," Yuri said quietly.

"Then why did you storm off at dinner last night?" Yuuri said as he leaned forward, kissing behind Yuri's ear.

"I told you already."

"Maybe I want to hear the truth," Yuuri said.

Yuuri could feel Yuri tense up, he refused to let up on his grip as he knew Yuri never really talked about his feelings. That was one thing that had never changed about him. He would stomp around or pout when he was upset, but he never talked about it. There were very few moments that Yuuri could remember Yuri being truly upset- or anything like this. Yuuri was the one who always spoke how he felt or what he was feeling- Yuri would just listen.

"What the hell do you expect me to say?" Yuri asked.

"I told you, I want the truth," Yuuri said.

Yuri growled but his body relaxed against him, "I don't know, ok?"

"What don't you know?"

"Yuuri… can we just leave this be."

He kissed at Yuri's temple, he was not letting this go. He wanted to hear it.

"No, I want to know what is going on in this pretty little head."

"This!" Yuri yelled and sat up.

"What about this?" Yuuri asked him, _wanting him to say it_. He sat there and just stared at Yuri waiting for an answer. He knew he was hard pressed to get a real answer from him, but wanted something. He needed to know what he already suspected. He was never the type to push for anything, but his he would push for.

"I mean… we are married. We shouldn't… I shouldn't feel..." Yuri was stammering, not forming real sentences.

Yuuri sat up and rubbed his arm, "You shouldn't feel what?"

Leaning over, Yuri covered his face with his hands. "I shouldn't feel this way about you. You are my friend… you've always been my friend. I mean… Otabek."

Rubbing his back, Yuuri sat there. He understood what Yuri was saying, what Yuri was feeling. They had played with fire and they were getting burnt. Yuuri never expected to _feel_ anything for Yuri, but he could not lie to himself. At first it was just a replacement for Victor, and all the times he was rejected and told no to. For all the times he was left behind, for all the times he needed his husband.

Yuri had filled that hole for him. It was not what he had intended for- not at all. It had gotten complicated. As much as they both looked forward to this trip, it was an eye opener. Yuuri felt bad he got so wrapped up last night in Victor, but that was always where the problem was. Victor was his husband- _to have to hold, till death do us part_. Yuuri could not ignore that, he could not forget the ring on his finger. No matter how much Yuri meant to him, he still loved his husband.

There was jealousy, though Yuuri understood that Yuri was married to Otabek. He had figured Yuri felt the same way. He assumed wrong.

Yuuri knew his heart was with Victor, no matter how much he was ignored or pushed away. But he also could not lie- Yuri had a piece of it as well. Leaning forward, Yuuri wrapped his arm around Yuri's shoulder and pulled him back down into their embrace- this time Yuri had turned so his head was in the crook of his shoulder and neck.

"I know you love Otabek… I would never question that," Yuuri said as he kissed at Yuri's temple, "but I also know what is going on between us has gone further than we wanted it too."

"It was just suppose to be fucking," Yuri mumbled.

Yuuri nodded his head, "Yes… silly us thinking that is all it could be."

"It is not funny dammit. I hate… I hate seeing you with Victor," Yuri said.

Yuuri wrapped his arms tighter around Yuri. He knew this, he saw it that night at dinner. It was in Yuri's eyes and the way he stormed from the table.

"Yuri… he is my husband… Otabek is your husband… this with us… we can't-"

"I know!" Yuri said as he sat up again, "I know this! Dammit. You think I want this? You think I want to feel this way? You think I want to look at you kissing Victor and all I can think about is tearing his eyes out? You think I enjoy you upset over your husband neglecting you when I know I never would?"

Yuri's face was red and he was almost yelling. His body trembled as he spoke. Yuuri wanted to make it better, wanted to let him know he did care about him. Regardless, he cared. It was different than it was with Victor, he knew it would never be the same- but Yuri had been a constant in his life, and they had been through a lot together.

"It doesn't mean I don't care about you," Yuuri said.

"Well you sure as hell ignore me when he is around."

"He is barely around!" Yuuri exclaimed out.

"Exactly!" Yuri yelled back and jumped up. "Can't you see that? He pushes you aside and doesn't realize just how fucking wonderful you are!"

Yuuri gasped. Standing up he faced Yuri and cupped his face in his hands- Victor use to tell Yuuri he was amazing, wonderful, perfect… now he barely heard it anymore. Tilting his head, Yuuri kissed him- hard.

It didn't take long for Yuri to melt into him, and Yuuri held him tight. Usually it was Yuri making _him feel better_ , taking the lead- this time it was Yuri who needed taking care of, needed to _be and feel_ loved. Very rare did he see Yuri vulnerable, open and unmasked. He was seeing it now, he could feel it shake against his body.

Yuuri wanted to show him what he could not say. There was so much he wanted to say, but right now there were no words. He kissed Yuri, and pushed him back to the bed they had been in all morning. He could feel the tears wet against their skin as they kissed and Yuuri knew they had jumped into the fire. They had leaped in with no return. Holding Yuri close, he kissed around Yuri's jawline and down his neck- pulling those clothes back off of Yuri he had not had on for long.

"Don't do this if you don't mean it," Yuri said.

Looking up, Yuuri saw those green eyes stare at him- the eyes he always seem to get lost in. Normally they are harsh and demanding, now they were pleading- asking.

"I think I've always meant it," Yuuri said before kissing him again and wrapping his hand around Yuri's cock. He was half hard and he stroked it to full length. It was slow, it was gently. Yuri held him tightly as he pushed into him. Their bodies could not have gotten any closer. Yuri cried as he came, Yuuri held him through it and continued to slowly thrust into him.

"I fucking hate I feel this way," Yuri whispered to him.

As Yuuri came he held Yuri tighter, "I love you too."

* * *

He hated being emotional. He was never emotional. The only emotion he had was anger. Feeling like this made him feel vulnerable- weak.

The last time this had happen was when the twins were babies. Him and Otabek were no getting sleep as one of two babies were always up and crying. Yuri remember after two weeks of it all, breaking down crying in the hallway. Both babies in their crib crying, and there he was, on the floor in the hallway outside their room crying. Otabek had wrapped his arms around Yuri and assured him it was what babies did and they would get through it.

 _But this was not from lack of sleep_. Yuri knew he loved Otabek, he always had. That was never a question or a doubt in his mind. Otabek was his world. They had two beautiful daughters and Otabek was a success. He knew Otabek loved him more than life itself. Sure they fought, but all couples do. It was just a force between them. They would fight and then fuck later to make up for it.

Ever since Otabek started going on tours, the fights had gotten worse- but only when Otabek was home. Yuri hated how Otabek just came through and made him feel things again. It was always that way with Otabek. Intense, hot, demanding. It was like when Otabek was away, his body went numb towards emotions- yet here Yuuri was, bringing them out of him.

Now he was feeling different things. He felt jealousy over Victor- Victor of all people. Yuri hated that son of a bitch with every fiber of being- at least that is what he always told himself. He never would have admitted how much he looked up to the old bastard. Without Victor, they never would have gotten the twins. Without Victor, Otabek would have never made his big break.

Maybe that was why he hated Victor- he took Yuuri _and_ Otabek away from him. Yuri almost had to chuckle at the idea. Victor had simultaneously given and taken everything away from him.

Though he had Yuuri here and now. He would make up for where Victor lacked- for where Victor neglected Yuuri, he would be there to over indulge. It was nothing he was doing to spite Victor, sure he hated him, at least that's what he told himself, but Victor didn't know how much he really had.

Yuuri had always been a great friend to him, and he knew they were abusing this by crossing that line and continuing to cross that line. Even as Yuuri held him now, stroked his hair and wiped his tears away.

No, Yuri did not do emotions. Those were reserved for Otabek- _his husband_. Not for weak moments when he felt vulnerable around Yuuri. That is not what this all was. He needed to put the brakes on and stop all this. As Yuuri held him, he kissed his neck and breathed in a smell that strictly Yuuri.

"Let's go shopping," Yuri said.

Yuuri groaned, "You know I hate shopping."

"Yes, but we have credit cards and a big city. We can get some lunch and get out this hotel," Yuri said as he kissed Yuuri.

"Fine, fine."

"We can get outfits for tonight," he said.

Yuuri groaned again, "I have an outfit for tonight though."

"I know your clothes, and I am sure what I would approve of you left at home," Yuri said.

Yuuri laughed, he loved hearing that laugh. "Fine, you have a point."

"Let me go clean up," Yuri said as he slapped Yuuri's ass.

As Yuri came out of the bathroom, he saw Yuuri slipping on a pairing the panties they had bought together.

"I like those on you," Yuri said as he walked up behind him, wrapping his arms around his chest. Hands trailing down, feeling his body, the silk of the panties and gripped at his hips. "I swear, I could get hard again and fuck you."

Yuuri moaned and leaned back on him. Sometimes it was too easy with Yuuri. They did not argue, he did not leave him- _unless Victor was around_. Moving off of Yuuri, he went to get his shoes or they would never get out of that hotel room.

"Where did you want to head too?" Yuuri called out as he started to button his shirt.

"Let's go raid your husband's store," Yuri said. He really did want to get outfits for tonight and knew that was the best place in the city to go.

"Ah yes! Let's go crash in on him at the office," Yuuri laughed out as he got his shoes.

"And get you something hot to wear tonight," Yuri said with a wink.

* * *

There was something magical about playing in New York City. Otabek was thrilled his family was there. It was great seeing Yuri and the girls. Even better the time he got with Yuri. It had been a long time since they had fooled around in a bathroom, fucked like teenagers and he had missed Yuri so much.

It was hard being away. Yuri said he needed to follow his dreams- and he did. It pulled on his family, but he was going to surprise Yuri- after this tour he was taking a year off. He would produce and be able to be home more.

He loved being on the road, but he missed his girls and his Yuri too much. It was nice to look to the side of the stage and see his family and friends dancing and cheering him on. He felt he did a great set and was thankful that Victor and Yuuri took the girls back to the hotel so he could take his husband out.

"I'm so happy you all came out," Otabek said as he kissed Yuri's hand.

They had found a wine bar in the middle of the city. Yuri looked beautiful and Otabek had missed the moments he got with him- especially when they weren't fighting.

"It is nice to come out here. I got a ton of shit from Victor's store today," Yuri said as he drank his wine.

Otabek had to laugh. He knew Yuri shopped a lot, but he always had. It made him feel good he could provide for Yuri and the girls. It allowed Yuri to shop and do he things he wanted- like teaching that god-awful yoga class and helping with the skaters.

"So I have a surprise for you," Otabek said.

"Oh?" Yuri asked as another glass of wine appeared in front of him.

Reaching across the small table, Otabek too Yuri's hand and held it. "After this tour I am taking a year off."

Yuri blinked at him, his face never changed. He was expecting more of a reaction from Yuri.

"How? I thought…" Yuri stammered.

"Well, I have some promising artist that are coming up, and there is a studio downtown in Saint Petersburg I can use and rent out. I want to be home with you and the girls more," Otabek said.

"Can you do that and still-"

"-Yes, I can still support your spending habits," Otabek said as he let go of Yuri's hand. He expected his husband to be happy, not questioning.

"Beka… that was not what I was going to ask!" Yuri spit out.

"Then what else could it be? You bitch when I'm not home, yet here I am telling you I will be home and you have almost no reaction."

Yuri shook his head. This was not how he wanted this all to go down as. He had wanted Yuri to jump up and race over to hug him, thrilled for him being home.

"Beka, no. I am glad you are taking time off from touring. But taking on new artist is risky," Yuri said.

"It is almost as if you would rather me not be home," Otabek grumbled as he drank down his glass of wine and gestured for the check.

"Dammit, no. That is not it. I _do_ want you home! Fuck, I've wanted you home for years."

"Well you sure as hell are not acting like it," Otabek said, "You were the one that told me to go follow and chase my dreams- which I did."

"I didn't think it would mean leaving me and girls behind so much!"

Otabek slammed his hands on the table, "Yet here I am saying I will be home more and you aren't even fucking happy."

Impatient over waiting for the check, Otabek threw money table and walked out. He had been so happy and excited to have Yuri here with him, yet it always seemed to be a fight or something else. All he wanted was for his husband to be happy he would be home again- he didn't expect _that reaction_.

"Beka!" he heard Yuri called and chase after him.

He didn't bother turning around, but he stopped walking. He loved Yuri so damn much it hurt sometimes. He knew being gone would put a strain on them, but he never thought this much. When Yuri approached him, he stood still as Yuri hugged him.

"Dammit, Beka. Let's not fight, please. I love you and am thrilled you are coming home," Yuri said.

He could only nod. Yuri took his hand as they walked back to the hotel. Nothing else was said between the two. Nothing was even said as Otabek ripped Yuri's new outfit off of him in their hotel room, or when he fucked him into the mattress. That was half their problems, they did not talk. They fought and they fucked.

He held Yuri that night as they slept. They would work through it, they always did.


	10. Chapter 10

Certain things in life never last- no matter how much you wanted it. They had two months before Otabek was back home and they were stealing every moment they could.

Victor was a constant on the weekends again. Yuuri hated how Yuri just stayed away during this time. They had invited him to dinner and to the movies, he would politely decline, and then be there to greet him Monday morning once he returned from dropping Victor at the airport.

It was unspoken between them, the time went too fast. Where Yuuri's life seemed to speed by him lately, it was only spinning faster. He knew soon Otabek would be back, and their lives would change. Yuri had told him Otabek would be gone during the day, that nothing would change, but Yuuri knew this to not be true.

It was selfish of him, wanting Yuri to himself, and wanting his husband to himself. He had never imagined his life would be like this. For so long it had been just him, Victor and Anfisa- sure they had their families, but nothing like this. Yuuri was always faithful, always the perfect husband. Yet he found himself over at Yuri's everyday, intertwining their lives deeper and deeper.

They never spoke of it really, and the time was going by all too fast. Days turned into weeks and then a month had rolled by. They had never spoken of all that had happen in New York, not that it would be a constant again, but do they go back to normal? What was normal anymore? Yuuri knew as he sat that afternoon in his living room, holding Yuri close to him, this was all going to change.

It made him feel things he knew he should not feel. He had never really had anyone in his life outside of Victor, and it was as if him and Yuri were breaking up. It was a weird feeling to sit there, thinking of his husband, holding his lover, thinking of _his_ husband. It was made Yuuri dizzy and he patted Yuri's shoulder so he could get up for a moment.

"Seriously, pig. You got to stop pouting," Yuri growled from the couch.

"So _now_ you want to talk about it?" Yuuri asked.

"What else is there to do? We have avoided it for so long. Beka is back in two weeks," Yuri said.

"I know… trust me… I am very aware he is coming home," Yuuri said, a bite in his voice he did not mean to have.

A heavy sigh came from the couch as Yuri got up and walked behind him, wrapping his arms tightly around Yuuri.

"He will be working mostly… we still have morning skating and afternoons with yoga. Hell, knowing him, still dinners. When he gets lost in projects, he will be here, but locked in his stupid studio room," Yuri said.

Yuuri leaned back against Yuri, he knew it was wrong to feel this way. Neither of them should feel this way. With Otabek being home, it was too risky, too easy to get caught. They had taken everything too far. He knew maybe some distance between them was what they needed, but the problem was, he could not find it in himself to do so.

How had he fallen so hard for Yuri? He was crude, sometimes mean, and very rash. Though Yuuri knew another side to him, the side that did everything he could for the girls, the soft gentle touch of his hands, and that warm glow in his eyes. As much as Yuri put out such an hard outer shell, he easily let it out too. When others were not around, his voice lost it's edge, his body was not as tense. He was loving, and caring. The years had done him well.

He knew that Yuri and Otabek fought, but he knew they loved each other too much. He knew Yuri was feeling pulled and tugged at all of this, and he felt it was his fault. He should have sent Yuri home that night, he never should have taken that step.

That was neither here nor there, he could not dwell on what he should or should not have done. As much as he wanted to regret it all, having Yuri's arm around him, comforting him was where his selfish side came out. It was not enough to be loved by one man, or in their case, half loved by one man. Yuuri hated how he craved this attention, and how he had fallen for his friend.

All these emotions going through him, still did not stop him from leaning into Yuri even more, turning his head to kiss him gently while Yuri's hands started to roam his body. They had hours before the girls would be home, and Yuuri knew if they talked, it would lead to an argument. They did not argue much, which was good, but he knew this conversation would lead to one.

He had two weeks. Two weeks to figure out what to do. Two weeks to love Yuri as much as he wanted too. Two weeks for his heart to shatter. Could he continue this for so long? Two weeks was nothing, but they needed this to stop.

It seemed like so much time, but he knew it would all go too fast. They had taken for granted all the time they were given, using their husbands leaving them as an excuse. Yuuri wondered if their husbands were around, would this have happen? If Victor gave him more attention, would he have crossed that line with Yuri? If Otabek was home, would Yuri had come over that night?

So many what ifs, but looking back does nothing, changes nothing. What Yuuri focused on was the warmth of Yuri's body against his, his soft lips against his as those hands roamed his body.

He had to admit, all the yoga and extra jogging Yuri had him doing did shed a few pounds off his body and trimmed him better. His clothes were a bit baggier and it gave Yuri a reason for them to go shopping again.

Yuri had worked his hands under his shirt, hands roaming over his stomach, and up his sides. All the thoughts of what they were, what they should do, were gone. Yuri was clouding his mind as his mouth worked over his, their tongues meeting in that familiar way. It was not long before Yuri was turning him and holding him. Kissing down Yuuri's neck, he submitted to Yuri.

Yuri's mouth was hot and needy on him, tasting his skin, and Yuuri tilted his head back. There was something different in Yuri's eyes, a knowing look.

 _This would be it._

Yuuri had a feeling this was their last time, they didn't have to speak it, their kisses spoke it. Yuri was pressing his mouth harder on him, wanting more from him- wanting what Yuuri could never give him. Both of them, wanting more than they can have, taking all the moments they could. Breaking from the kiss, Yuuri took Yuri's hand and led him to the bedroom. This was not a time for a quick fuck on the couch.

It was as if Yuri was reading his mind, his face washed of any hardness, and the anger removed. This was how Yuuri liked him, the softer side to him. Grabbing at his shit, Yuuri pulled him close, kissing him again. He could get lost just kissing Yuri, feeling his mouth against him, tasting him, breathing his air. _It wasn't enough_. He needed more.

Pulling at Yuri's clothes, he somehow managed to undress him and have Yuri stand naked there in the bedroom. His body lean, muscles defined, just beautiful. Yuri stood there with his hands by his side, letting Yuuri look him over, run his hands down his body, and a kiss at his shoulders.

Taking his hand, he pulled Yuri too him as he sat on the bed. Yuri was standing, naked, and between his legs. Yuuri stayed fully clothed as he continued to explore his body like it was their first time touching, feeling every inch of him. Those muscles clenching and contracting under his palms, licking around his chest muscles, pulling a nipple into his mouth, breathing in his scent.

This was it, the last time he would touch Yuri, the last time he would taste him, _he wanted to make it count_.

Pulling a nippled between his teeth, he could hear as Yuri hissed out. He wanted him to make all noises tonight, he wanted to cause those noises. Using his hands, he felt down Yuri's back, memorizing the feel of them, the way the muscles moved, the way his body just arched and lifted to him. Kissing the center of his chest, he looked up as those green eyes just stared down at him. He was different from Victor, even as he stared at him, he felt a piece of his heart shatter. Somehow he had managed to split his feelings between two people and it was not fair- to any of them.

 _Just one last time, then I am Victor's husband… and only Victor's husband._

Wrapping his arms around Yuri, he pulled his naked body tight to him, his head resting on his chest, hearing the steady drum of his heartbeat. Yuri still had not said anything, he just stood there as Yuuri held him, his hands at his side… waiting.

Yuuri wanted to kiss every inch of Yuri's skin. Pulling him down to the bed, he started slowly at his lips, gently kissing and licking into his mouth, running his fingers through his hair, pressing against his naked body. Running his mouth along his jaw, Yuri licked and kissed down his neck and throat, loving the way Yuri smelled and tasted.

Down to his collarbones, Yuuri traced them as his mouth followed his fingers. Further down he went, he pinched one nipple as he licked the other, hearing Yuri moan softly at the contact. The wonderful thing about Yuri being trim and cut was that he could outline the lines of Yuri's body with his tongue, under his pectoral muscles, down his stomach to his abs, hands tracing down his sides, committing Yuri's body to memory. As his tongue dipped into his navel, Yuri arched his back while Yuuri held onto his sides, digging his fingers into his skin, feeling it almost burn under his touch.

Yuuri knew he would miss this, the way Yuri moaned when he kissed around his hips bones, licked at the lines. How he gently bit at the skin of his inner thigh, to run his tongue down Yuri's leg as he kissed into the arch of his foot. Yuri's foot flinched at the touch and Yuuri ran his tongue over the arch- hearing Yuri chuckle out.

"Leave my feet alone!" Yuri hissed out.

Yuuri knew Yuri was self conscious over his feet. All the years of skating and ballet did a number on both their feet. Toes never sat just right, the huge knuckle under the big toe- Yuuri did not care, he wanted every part of Yuri regardless. Running his tongue over the arch again, he smiled when Yuri hid his face in his hands.

"Now you're going to admit to a foot fetish or some shit," Yuri growled from behind his hands.

"More like a Yurio fetish," Yuuri said as he slipped Yuri's big toe into his mouth, licking around it, almost laughing at Yuri's shocked expression. Rolling his tongue one more time around Yuri's toe, he kissed it gently then picked up his other foot. Showing it the same attention, he kissed at the arch then ran the flat of his tongue up his foot, enjoying the way Yuri flinched and twisted around.

"You're fucking killing me!" Yuri cried out and Yuuri stopped teasing his foot.

"Flip over," Yuuri said as he twisted at Yuri's leg.

Watching as Yuri turned over, he leaned over and lifted his hips up so his ass was in the air. Dipping back down, he ran his tongue behind Yuri's knees, hearing him moan out as Yuuri started to slowly kiss and lick up the back of his thighs. Yuri's legs trembled the more Yuuri kissed at them.

What Yuuri really wanted to do was mark that pale skin, all over. He could pepper marks all over the back of his thighs, the inside of his thighs, his hips- hell, Yuuri would mark his entire body as if they were teenagers. Palming at Yuri's ass, Yuuri worked his way up his body, digging his fingers into Yuri's ass cheeks and spreading them. Yuri moaned as he licked over the puckered muscle. Blowing cool air, he held firmly as Yuri's body wiggled against his hands, his moans muffled as his face was firm into the mattress and his hands grabbing at the bedding.

Licking more around the muscle, he used his thumb to apply pressure there, feeling it easily open to him, and licking into him. Yuri cried out as the mattress absorbed the sound- he licked around and into Yuri. His thumb working slowly and pulling at his rim as he licked deeper. Alternating between long licks over the muscle and short stabs with his tongue into Yuri. Each push of his tongue in, enveloped with Yuri's rim pressing around it, flattening out his tongue, pressing deeper as Yuri cried more into the mattress.

Yuuri had to be careful as he would grab at Yuri's ass so hard, he had left fingertip bruises before, but they were lucky as Otabek was always gone for so long, just had to be more careful.

The more he thrusted his tongue into Yuri, the more Yuri screamed out, biting into the comforter on the bed, and Yuuri could not get enough. The way he opened up around his tongue the more he plunged in, humming around that muscle, sending the vibrations through Yuri's body.

It was wet, Yuuri's spit slipping down from his rim to his balls as Yuuri continued to lick and push into him. Working a fingering into Yuri, he could lick around his finger and push even deeper.

"Fuck! Please!" Yuri cried out.

One last slow and long lick at Yuri, blowing cool air on him as he rose up onto his knees, watching as Yuri sunk to the mattress. Turning over, Yuuri noticed how hard and red his cock was. Leaning down, he licked at Yuri's cock before sucking him down. Yuri was pulling at his hair, crying out loudly as Yuuri was not stopping.

"I'm not going to last!" Yuri cried as he pulled his hair hard enough for him to lift off his cock. Yuuri smiled down at him then stepped off the bed. Green eyes followed him as he got the lube off the nightstand then started to take his clothes off. This entire time he had not taken any of his clothing off.

"I was enjoying you," Yuuri said.

Yuri moaned, "Just fuck me already!"

Grabbing the lube, Yuuri slicked his cock up as Yuri put himself on display across the bed. Legs spread impossibly wide, hips raised- ready.

Joining Yuri back onto the bed, settling between his legs, and leaning down to kiss Yuri, he wanted to keep his emotions in check. He could already feel a tightening in his chest as they kissed, Yuri's arms wrapping around him and holding him tightly.

Using his hand, Yuuri lined himself where his tongue just was, using the lube on his fingers to coat around Yuri before slowly pushing in. Both of them moaning as Yuri was not fully stretched, just incredibly tight around his dick. Holding still, Yuuri kissed him deeper, wanting to remember his taste, his sounds, the way his body wiggled under his.

 _This was what Yuuri wanted to remember, the feel of him around him…_

* * *

Yuuri was driving him fucking crazy! He felt as if he could cum any moment and wanted to last and not shoot off like a damn teenager. Even as Yuuri entered him, with the burning sensation searing through his body, he still felt he could cum instantly.

Moving a hand down his body, he gripped the base of his cock, hard. Hard enough to cause pain, but Yuuri was kissing him deeply and so sensually- he could have cum just from that. Moaning into Yuuri's mouth, he moved his hand off his cock and held him tightly.

It was unfair how well they fit together, how well they knew each other's bodies- they belonged to other people. _Their husbands._ They had made promises in front of their loved ones that they would be with their husbands and only their husbands. But what was fair anymore?

Having a husband that was always away? Or when he was around, all they did was argue. They had never been the best at communication, though Yuri had to give it to Otabek. He always seem to know what Yuri needed. Him coming home was a blessing, Yuri knew this. A cursed blessing.

He would have to be more careful with Yuuri. No more long nights of sipping wine, curled against one another as the girls ignored them upstairs. They could have the day time as the girls were in school and Otabek would be working.

Was it selfish to want them both? Keep them each locked away in a small corner of his life, never letting them merge. Could Yuri do that? Fuck Yuuri during the day, so slow and sensually to only move to the brutal intensity of his husband?

It was unfair… to them all. Yuri for putting himself in this position, Otabek for trusting him, and Yuuri for giving him his heart. Yuri never thought when he was younger he would ever find love, now he found it, _twice_. A husband who loved him, and a friend who cherished him.

What more could a man want?

Yuuri was slowly thrusting into him, making each push slow and deep. Each rock of his hips angling just perfectly to knock against his prostate, making him leak precum with each hit. Their bodies were tight together, neither wanting to let go.

It had been so long since Otabek made love to him. Otabek fucked him, good and hard. Yuri would never say his husband lost his edge, but sometimes, he needed this slow, meaningful love making.

Yuuri rolled his hips and he cried out, whatever he was doing was putting the pressure on his prostate and he was seeing stars.

"You feel so amazing, Yura," Yuuri breathed out.

Yuri moaned at the pet name. Sure it was one Otabek always used, but Yuuri said it so differently, his accent thick with lust, his voice warm and soothing. It rolled off his tongue and into his heart.

The slow rocking of their bodies as Yuuri continued to kiss him, feeling a wetness on his cheeks, Yuri pulled the kiss and looked up.

"Yuuri?" he asked.

Yuuri shook his head and buries his head into his shoulder, his body never stopping the slow movements. He could feel the tremors in his chest. It wrenched at Yuri's heart- Yuuri was so different this time, more loving, more in tune with it.

He did not want to admit it, to himself or out loud, but he knew Yuuri was pulling away from him. He knew this was Yuuri saying his goodbye. The way his body moved, the way he kissed him, the way he kissed his entire body and touched him.

He would not accept it easily, they had too much of a good thing between them. Their friendship was stronger than anything. Clutching to Yuuri tightly, he felt his own tears slip out of his eyes as their bodied moved back and forth.

"Ya lyublyu tebya," Yuri whispered as Yuuri moved his body more.

He could hear the soft cry as Yuuri continued to move against him, and the tears that were soaking his neck. Holding Yuuri tightly, he never wanted to let this go. He knew they could make it work, somehow. He just had to convince Yuuri.

He knew it was selfish, but he had always been selfish. He wanted them both, and did not want to let either go. Lifting his legs higher, he started bucking his hips harder, wanting more, needing more. Yuuri rose up a little and started to thrust harder. Both of them moaning as Yuuri was precise with each thrust. It was almost too perfect and the tears fell faster from his eyes.

He was not ready for it, not ready at all. The minute he started to cum, he was crying out. Yuuri closed his mouth over his, kissing him through his orgasm as Yuri's cock was pulsing between their bodies, painting both of them with his release. His head was swimming, Yuuri was still thrusting just as hard into him, breathing into his mouth, clutching to his body.

Tears soaked both their cheeks as Yuuri's hip shuddered and stilled. Mouths still connected as Yuuri filled him.

Yuri did not want to let go. It was too perfect, it was too good, it was so wrong. Yuuri had released his mouth, but stayed inside of him. Light kisses on his neck as they both were out of breath and their bodies just worn out.

What was only a few moments felt like eternity. Yuri was slowly moving his hands over Yuuri's back and down his sides before he lifted off of him, rolling to his side.

He felt cold, emptied, lost.

"Yuri," a small voice next to him said.

"Hrm?" he grunted back.

"Let's end this. For real this time."

Yuri blinked at the tears in his eyes. His head knew it was coming, but his heart was not ready. All he could do was shake his head as the anger built in his body.

"So you wanted one last fuck before sending me off?' Yuri growled.

"You know that is not it," Yuuri said and he pulled Yuri to his side, cradling his head against him.

Yuri pushed him away, "No fucking way. You cannot say what you said then get the afterglow cuddle, asshole."

The one thing about Yuuri, he never listen to him. Reaching out, Yuuri was pulling him back to his body, wrapping his arms around him as Yuri tried to fight him.

"Just give me a few more moments, please," Yuuri whispered into his hair.

"I fucking hate you, pig," Yuri growled, his body relaxing.

"I know you do… and I'm sorry... but I cannot keep cheating on Victor," Yuuri whispered.

Yuri knew what Yuuri said was true. They were both cheating on their husbands. Plain and simple. There was no way to sugar coat it to make is sound right. It was wrong, they were wrong.

Turning around, Yuri kissed Yuuri, one last time. The tears had returned as he cupped Yuuri's face.

"I'll still always love you," Yuuri said.

Yuri wished he could speak, but there was something tight and burning his throat. He hated feeling this way, it was easier to be angry at the world, show no emotion. He was an idiot for letting this pig in- seeing his vulnerable side.

All he could do was hold Yuuri till he let go.

 **(next chapter will be the final chapter- You can find me on Tumblr as Phaytesworld)**


	11. Chapter 11

It was not easy, it was one of the hardest things Yuuri had ever done. Being away from Yuri was complete torture. His days were sunk back into loneliness he was not used to anymore. Once Anfisa was off to school, he found himself back in bed and crying till he fell asleep. It had been a week and Victor would be back in a few days.

It was good Victor had been busy and stayed that weekend in New York. Yuuri was not sure if he could explain his mood. How could he explain he had broken up with his lover so he could go back to being a good husband?

Yuuri hated himself for so many reasons. For allowing himself to fall for Yuri. For sleeping with Yuri. For leaving Yuri. For losing his best friend.

They had thought it was best to distance themselves for the time being. It would be too hard being around one another, knowing the passion between them. They had two families to think about, two husbands, three kids… their hearts did not matter anymore.

 _"We need to make things right," Yuuri said._

 _"What is right is this!" Yuri cried out._

 _"You know what I mean," Yuuri whispered._

 _"I don't want to fucking lose you," Yuri was crying harder._

 _It tore at Yuuri to see those green eyes fill with tears. To see that hard angry face crumble the way it did. To feel Yuri pressed against him crying. It took everything in Yuuri to be able to walk away, to not look back, to not walk back over there. He wanted to throw himself at Yuri, tell him it was all lies and he wanted it all back._

But they had been selfish, they had been careless with their emotions- and it led Yuuri into this hell he was now living in.

He wasn't eating, he wasn't running, he had even stopped going to the rink. He told Georgi he was not feeling well and taking some time off. All Yuuri wanted to do was hide in his bedroom, and smell the pillow that still smelled like Yuri.

A knock at the door drew Yuuri's attention and he sat up. Even with the room dark, he knew it was Anfisa home from school. She curled next to him in bed.

"Still not feeling good," she asked and felt his forehead.

"No baby, I'm not," he replied.

"Maybe you should go to the doctor. You want me to call dad?" she asked.

"No baby, just need to rest," Yuuri said. At least in the dark, his red rimmed eyes were covered.

"I'm worried about you," she said as she hugged him tightly.

"I'll be fine, I promise. Just need another day or two of rest."

"I got you some soup from the cafe you like," she said.

"Thank you honey. Aren't you eating with the twins tonight?"

"They invited me over for dinner, but their dad is sick too. We end up just ordering take out and hanging in their room."

Yuuri's breath hitched. Yuri was upset too?

"Well you can go over there, I'll just put a movie on and rest some more, ok? I'll cook tomorrow night, promise," Yuuri said as he kissed her forehead.

"You sure, daddy?"

"Yes baby, I'm sure."

Anfisa left and Yuuri knew he had to make some changes. He had been slacking lately, drowning in his own despair. The house had not been cleaned in over a week- though him and Anfisa were not messy people, it still needed things done. He really needed to change the bed, but at the same time he didn't want too. The sheets barely smelt like Yuri anymore, and he knew once he washed them, it was all gone. A heavy sigh and Yuuri sat up. He looked over to the pillow that was his husband's, and that Yuri had always laid on. Running his hand over the material, a tear slipped out.

"I am a terrible person," Yuuri whispered to himself as he got out of bed and started to remove the sheets and blankets off the bed. He would start there at least.

Yuuri managed to do the basics around the house in the span of an hour. He couldn't remember when he had last showered and walked to the bathroom. His hair was clumped and he had hair on his chin. He was never able to grow actual hair on his face like Victor could, which worked for him. A good shower and shave would do him well.

When Anfisa had gotten home, Yuuri was on the couch with a blanket and wine. Smiling, she joined him on the couch.

"Yuri says hello," Anfisa said.

 _Of course he did._

Two days later, Yuuri was back on the couch, watching sad romance movies when Victor walked through the front door.

"Vitya?" Yuuri asked.

"Hey beautiful," Victor said as he dropped his bags and walked over to where Yuuri was, hugging him tight.

"What… what are you doing back?"

"Anfisa called me, worried about you," Victor said as he kissed his forehead.

"Meddling kids," Yuuri grumbled.

"She said you had not been feeling well… and that Yuri was not feeling well either," Victor said.

Yuuri nodded.

"I called Yuri," Victor said.

Yuuri's body stiffened as he leaned against his husband. What had Yuri said?

"He said you two had a fight and you were being too damn stubborn," Victor said as his arms wrapped around Yuuri. "Care to share what the fight was about?"

Yuuri shook his head and felt the tears in his eyes. Yuri did not lie to Victor, but Yuuri felt terrible now. He had allowed this and his feelings to go this far, enough to make his daughter worry and his husband to come home and check on him.

"Well," Victor said as he rubbed Yuuri's back, "I guess it is good that Otabek is going to be home for a bit. And I was thinking… why don't we head to Japan for a bit? See your family? The holidays are coming, and I always loved going there."

"That would be good," Yuuri said as he held onto his husband tighter. Maybe getting away from everything was what he needed.

Time didn't always make thing easier. They spend two weeks in Japan and though it took Yuuri's mind away from it all, things started to revert back how they were. His husband was doting and loving- home more.

Then it had spaced out again. Longer times away, missed calls and messages. Yuuri was fed up. He could not continue his life like this. He needed his husband and that was that.

"Yuuri… you are sad again," Victor had said as he came into the bedroom.

Yuuri had been in there all day, he was not surprised it had taken Victor till dinner time to realize it.

" _Now_ you see it," Yuuri spit out.

Victor went to the bed and laid next to Yuuri but Yuuri was pissed. He had debated just going back to Japan for a bit- but Anfisa had school and he couldn't just up and leave.

"Yuuri, what is wrong?" Victor asked.

Yuuri sat up and waved his arms around, "This! All of this! US!" He was yelling and didn't even try to keep his voice down.

"Yuuri… I know I have been working a lot-"

"A lot! That is all you do! Even when you are home! I feel like I don't have a husband!"

Victor flinched, Yuuri knew Victor hated when he said things like that, he knew Victor loved him, but he needed Victor to see what this was all doing to him.

"I can't keep living like this… I have a husband on the weekend… a husband who only fucks me when I beg or initiate it! A husband who can't even call me when he is away…" Yuuri started to cry and he couldn't talk. It was everything he had been going through for years and until Yuri was in the picture, he had managed it. Now with Yuri gone, it all came rushing at him.

"Baby, I love you," Victor said.

"I KNOW!" Yuuri yelled, "Trust me I know. You do all this for us! You work nonstop, you ignore you husband and your daughter… all for what? Our fucking bank account?"

Victor shook his head. Yuuri knew he hated fighting, he hated Yuuri sad and crying.

"I just want you to love me… love me like you use too… I feel like I am burden you hold onto," Yuuri couldn't stop once he started, "Do you even want to be with me anymore?"

That was when Victor leaned forward and took Yuuri in his arms.

"Yuuri, I love you more than life itself. I am so sorry, I wanted everything and did everything for you. I spent so much time building a life for us, I forgot to live it," Victor said as he peppered Yuuri's face with kisses.

"I want us to be a family again," Yuuri said.

"Why don't we all move to Paris this summer?" Victor said.

Yuuri kissed Victor. It was what he needed to do.

"Yes, let's move to Paris."

* * *

Anger moved Yuri again. He was always angry. Every morning he went out before the sun was fully up and ran- hard. His feet pounding the street as he pushed his body too hard.

This was all stupid. He hated himself for feeling this way. His husband would soon be home and he should be happy. He did not want to end it with Yuuri, for once he had felt happy and not so angry at everything. He didn't hate that Otabek had left him behind, he didn't hate his evenings because he had someone with him- he just wasn't angry anymore.

Now it all came flooding back. The anger, the resentment.

 _"We can still see each other… we just don't have too… you know," Yuri said. Hating how vulnerable and needy he sounded._

 _"You know we can't. You know what will happen," Yuuri said._

 _He was right though. If they got around one another, they would kiss and that would lead to more. He gone by a few days afterwards, Yuuri wouldn't answer the door. He had texted Yuuri, only to see the message was delivered… never read._

Maybe Yuuri was right… maybe they needed to stop. Yuri had gotten _too_ involved, he let his stone walls down… he had let Yuuri in. He hated himself for it. He hated so much these days. He had gone by the rink, hoping Yuuri would be there. Georgi had told him Yuuri was sick and staying home for a bit and he was not sure if Yuuri was coming back.

Yuri felt he had been used, then tossed away. After a few days at the rink and yoga, he took off some time of his own. Cleaning the house, deep cleaning. Moving all the furniture, rearranging all his books, movies, music- keeping busy. Cooking elaborate dinners for the girls, hoping Anfisa would give him anything more than Yuuri just being _sick_.

Most nights he drank till he fell asleep on the couch, it got more and more as the days went by. He just told the twins he was not feeling well, when all he was doing was nursing a hangover.

Even when Otabek was back, he was still alone. If Otabek was not at his studio, he was in the spare room ignoring him. He had a new artist and he was spending more time working music and locked away.

He had found out Yuuri and their family went to Japan for the holidays, Otabek took them to Almaty to spend with family there. It was nice being back as they had lived there for so many years. The chaos of the Altins was a great distraction. Yuri thoroughly enjoyed Almaty and he missed it. Maybe it was a mistake moving back to Russia. Otabek would surely bitch if he brought it up.

The problem was not getting laid. Otabek was insatiable. Every night and morning, Yuri woke up to Otabek hard and wanting him. _That was never their problem_. They had never figured out how to communicate properly. They both knew this and they would both try. Even as Yuri was on top of Otabek, rocking his hips as Otabek moaned and thrusted up, Yuri knew he was lucky for the life he had. Two daughters, the hottest man, and all the money.

 _Then why did he still feel like something was missing?_

Yuri even reached out to Mila and Georgi more. They would meet for lunches and Mila finally got a nanny to help her with all her kids. Distractions, Yuri needed distractions. Weeks went by and it turned into months. Yuuri was so close, but about as far away as he could manage.

"Hey babe!" Otabek said as he left out his room. Yuri was on the couch and curled up with a blanket and a movie. "Victor called over."

"Oh?" Had Victor and Otabek kept touch?

"Yeah, they wanted to know if we wanted to come by for dinner. I know you and Yuuri are still not talking… but they are moving in a few days to Paris," Otabek said.

Yuri knew they were moving. Anfisa had come over and the twins were upset. The girls loved their time together, but even Anfisa was excited to go. She had rambled on to Nina and Nika over the school they had enrolled her in. They had all be practicing their French the last few weeks.

The last thing Yuri wanted to do was go over and have dinner with the Nikiforovs, but he knew Otabek was going to drag him over there. It was weird being back at their house. Boxes around the house, and walls bare. Yuri's air was trapped in his lungs as they walked through the door and Victor smiled when they all stood there.

"So glad you two could come! I went by the cafe and got us a simple dinner for tonight. Mainly wanted us to have a little time together," Victor said.

As soon as they got into the kitchen, he saw Yuuri opening a bottle of wine. Yuuri smile at him, but the smile never reached his eyes. Yuri missed that stupid smile and he hated to admit it- he missed Yuuri so much.

"Hi," Yuri said as he shifted on his feet.

"Hi," Yuuri said back.

"Hey Victor, want to come over to my place and hear the new track from that artist I was telling you about?" Otabek said.

"Yes!" Victor said as they walked out.

"Well that didn't looked planned at all," Yuri said as he scratched the back of his neck. "I can… go."

Yuuri shook his head, "Please don't."

Yuri had no idea what to say. What does one say at a moment like this?

"So you decided to leave the country to get away from me?" That was not what Yuri wanted to say, but he found himself asking it.

"Yeah, actually I did," Yuuri said as he handed Yuri a glass of wine, then used his other hand to tip Yuri's chin. "I need all the miles I can between us… this has been killing me."

Yuri saw that Yuuri was thinner, and his normal loving expression was gone.

"How did we fuck this up so bad?" Yuri asked.

"Well we sure did… I was hoping with distance and time… I could maybe have my friend back," Yuuri said as he sipped his wine.

"What if I don't want my friend back?" Yuri asked. Yes, he missed Yuuri, but whenever he thought of him, it was not in a friend-like way.

Yuuri gasped and sat at one of the chairs in their kitchen. "I feel like I have lost you."

"Yuuri, you know how I feel… being friends with you… that is not what I want."

"I know… I know… I was hoping… with time…" tears started to run down Yuuri's face.

Yuri grabbed his hands and held them tightly before bringing a hand to his lips and kissing his palm.

"I don't want to lose you, but I don't know if I can just be your friend… even now…" Yuri leaned over, he kissed Yuuri and heard the cry into his mouth as Yuuri kissed back.

Yuri wanted more, but he knew they couldn't. He held Yuuri's face and felt the tears on his cheek as Yuuri grabbed the back of his hair. They shared a moment longer in the kiss before pulling away, leaving their hands on the other.

"We can't," Yuuri whispered.

"Consider it my good-bye," Yuri said.

Yuuri pulled him about into his lap in the chair he was sitting at. Their mouths coming back together. Yuri just wanted to taste him one last time, and he would let him go, let Victor have him. He could do this, he knew he could. He had Otabek and the girls. _That_ was what he needed- but Yuuri was what he _wanted_.

Breaking from the kiss, Yuri stared into Yuuri's eyes. A different life, circumstances- maybe they could have been. It would have been good, it would have worked.

Standing up from Yuuri's lap, he wiped his eyes and turned his back to Yuuri. He hated showing emotion. The back door opened as Otabek and Victor walked back in. They could see both of them upset, and Otabek walked over to Yuri and held him tight.

"Please tell us you two are talking again," Victor said.

Yuri could only nod and hide his face in his husbands neck. He knew Victor was holding Yuuri and all Yuri wanted was to get out of that house.

"Take me home," Yuri said.

As they turned to leave, a hand grabbed his wrist, spinning him around and Yuuri was hugging him. They were both crying, and neither cared their husbands were right there. Yuri held Yuuri to him tightly.

"I'll… stay in touch," Yuri said.

"Please."

Yuri walked home with Otabek, and they never spoke of it. Otabek even stayed with him that night on the couch and watched a movie as Yuri curled up to his side. The familiar fingers in his hair, the familiar scent of his husband. They could do this, they could make this work.

* * *

 _35 Years Later…_

Yuuri had not been to Russia in a long time. They had settled and made a wonderful home in Paris. Victor never did retire, but he worked a lot less. They had an amazing life and Yuuri had been very happy.

They were blessed with four grandchildren from Anfisa. She had met a great French artist and they settled down near where Victor and Yuuri could spoil them daily.

Yuri and Otabek stayed in Russia. Otabek was able to work and be there more for Yuri. It took Yuri threatening to leave him and take everything that opened Otabek's eyes. They went into marriage counseling and it took them some time, but they started _to talk_.

Nika and Nina had blessed them with five grandchildren. Yuri loved seeing Otabek grow old and having babies hanging off of him.

Life had been good for them both. Yuuri and Yuri stayed in touch through emails and text, but never spent time together. It was still too much, even after all those years.

Otabek had passed in his sleep and Yuri moved in with Nina and her family. It wasn't till six years later he saw the obituary story for Victor. He was curious as to why Yuuri had never contacted him. The funeral had been a few days ago. He couldn't believe it.

As he got up, his body objecting to the sudden movements, he grabbed his coat and headed to the graveyard. He knew Victor would want to be buried in Russia, only made sense.

It was cold, who was Yuri kidding, it was always fucking cold. The older he got, the more it bothered him. Grabbing his coat and he scarf Otabek always wore, he made his way to the graveyard.

Did he go there expecting to see Yuuri? He told himself no, but there he was, standing by Victor's headstone. When he looked up, their eyes locked.

Sure Yuuri was older, but he aged well. His hair white and his eyes still stone when he smiled.

"Yurio," he said.

"Fuck, I have not been called that in over thirty years," Yuri laughed out.

They hugged each other. It felt good, it felt familiar.

"They abandoned us again, didn't they?" Yuuri asked as he put his hand on Victor's headstone, a tear falling down his cheek.

"Da, they did."

Yuuri took his hand, and smiled.

"I guess it is just me and you."

Yuri could only nod and squeeze his hand back.


End file.
